Thursday, October 13, 2011

She must have been very mad

As Stewie would say..."here we go.........."

From NBC News:

Authorities in Maryland say two women threw bleach and another chemical on each other during a fight at a Walmart, prompting officials to evacuate the store for two hours and call in a hazardous materials team.
Fire officials say 19 people had to be taken to hospitals, although only one was thought to have serious injuries. That person was taken to the Wilmer Eye Institute with a potentially serious eye injury.
Fire officials were called to the store in the Baltimore suburb of Arbutus shortly before 11 a.m. Saturday.
Fire Department spokesman Glenn Blackwell says one person was arrested and charges are pending.
"This is obviously not the type of behavior we would expect from people at our stores. We apologize for any inconvenience this caused to our customers," Walmart officials said in a  statement.

This is the other end of the county from here,  but do you see what's going on?  Unwilling to rely on conventional weapons, this woman chose to wage chemical warfare on the new girl seen on the arm of her baby daddy, according to the police down there.  And not only did she toss bleach on her rival, she followed that with Pine-Sol, which contains ammonia, and every schoolkid knows, that's a combination that makes chlorine gas and other unpleasant reactions.

They had to evacuate the entire WalMart on a Saturday morning, causing moans to be heard from here to Bentonville, AR.

And then the bleach-bomber showed up at the police station, asking to take out a protective order to keep the victim from getting back at her!

Now I have to worry every time I go into a WalMart.  I can assure you, if you're looking for the guy who is stepping out with your baby momma, I am not the guy.  Among my manifold sins you will not find infidelity.

But there just might be those who would want to toss something unexpected on me in a huge megastore.  For their convenience, here is a list of things that I would accept as incoming liquid projectiles:

  • Kozy Shack rice pudding is always nice.  Reminds me of diners.
  • English Leather after shave.  It's all I ever use, after I shave.
  • National Bohemian beer
  • A homemade milkshake 
  • Cole Slaw
So you see, there is no real need to toss hazardous chemicals at one another, when much more pleasant fluids can be flung. If you ever see much dashing out of a WalMart with bits of cole slaw trailing behind me, and smelling like I just shaved, please say hi! And I'll share the rice pudding.


Anonymous said...

I deeply care for your wellbeing, so I'm worried about the lack of direction to remove packagings before flinging.


Mark said...

Thank you Bert! Yes, please remove and and all pudding products from their containers before throwing them at me...