Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Darn Old Duck
Heaven knows, I don't know the secrets of how to be attractive, but I think most men would agree that there's one sure way to be un-attractive in the female division.
That would be to pose for pictures with that duck face on your kisser.
I see this all the time now, and Facebook is awash in pictures of pretty women making this mallard-face. Viz:
On the right we see a with-it young fun couple. He is posing in the modern young man manner, which is to say he has plucked his eyebrows, applied "product" to his hair and lip gloss to his snout, and wants to be mistaken for that The Situation guy from that Jersey Shore. His girlfriend has a bit of a situation going on too; we can't tell what she is trying to accomplish with those pursed and pushed lips.
To quote the great Phil Dunphy, "WTF: Why The Face?"
And here's ten bucks that says, what if someone had gone up to all these young ladies and said, someone is going to take your picture for a worldwide social networking site, but instead of smiling when they snap the picture, would you consider wrenching up your lips so that you look like the grille on a '65 Pontiac LeMans?
I don't think so.
Now here's an old picture of a young lady, taken before this quacky-face fad got underway. She's no longer with us, but the lovely Sandra Dee smiled in the old fashioned way, and she didn't have to change her name to make herself well known. Good thing she did, though. It wouldn't have sounded right in "Grease" to have Rizzo sing "Look at Me, I'm Alexandra Zuck."