A possible future grown-up

Hard to believe this John Mayer fellow is 32 years of age. He's a guitarist, sings songs, writes songs, and from what I can tell from picking up the gossip mags at medical waiting rooms, he pretty much dates every woman in show business. I never see him pictured anywhere that he isn't wearing the self-satisfied smirk he will now share with us again:

But in the past few days, he's all over the computer. First there was some interview in which he boasted of his sexual prowess, even stating that he's just as happy with any form of gratification, as long as he can think of the many young women with whom he has enjoyed congress, sanctified or otherwise. But he got a little too hip and used some unacceptable language in his boast. You might have seen this on Facebook; he has done a Playboy interview and now he is pre-apologizing for what he said in the forthcoming issue of Hef's skin mag.

Here is what he said on the concert stage on Wednesday night:

"It's been difficult because in my quest to be clever... in the quest to be clever and try to slither out of what I perceived to be constant persecution or somebody trying to pin me, which may or may not ever really be happening, but I think that it is a lot of the time when it's actually not. In the quest to be clever, I completely forgot about the people that I love and that love me. And as I have begun to do a whirlpool of selfishness, and greediness and arrogance...and thinking if I just continue to be speedy and witty and pull together as many fast words and phrases as I could, that I would be clever enough to buy myself another day without anybody pinning me down and saying 'you're a creep'. And when I should have just given that up and played the guitar... so I decided i would try to be as clever as possible all the time. And I did that at the expense of people that I love and that feels absolutely terrible. It feels worse than any headline I thought i could get my way out of. And I think it's important that you know that everybody on this stage is here playing with me not because they condone what I say in any interview... they are not on this stage because they support what I said, they're on this stage because they support myself as a possible future grown-up. And maybe they see something that I don't... so maybe I need to take a break from trying to be clever and spend a little time looking at what they see. Cause they've done an unbelievable thing standing on this stage and standing by my side tonight. It's just not worth being clever.... I'm out .... just wanna play my guitar ... "

Yes, the people that he pays to play backup guitar, drums, piano, glockenspiel and what-all else did a truly marvelous thing in coming to work. That's what they are paid to do, son. They don't have to like the fact that just like a 14-year-old who just got his noodle wet the first time, you can't stop talking about it. They probably even have THEIR OWN LIVES and really don't concern themselves with how foolishly you behave.

That's your job.