Take Me Out

There's been a lot of talk about baseball uniforms around here, since the Orioles are doing pretty well this early this season, thus denying the boo-birds the chance to take up their annual spring litany of complaints about everything concerning the club from the owner to the hotdog hawker.

I like the fact that the new Orioles road jerseys have the word "Baltimore" on them for the first time since 1972. It was taken as a huge municipal insult by many people that it was removed, as the team positioned itself as a regional franchise, hoping to attract fans from southern Pennsylvania and northern Virginia and DC. But they have their own team in DC now, and no one goes to see them, and they doggone well are not trying to get us to drive down there to see their team play. And a survey of all Oriole fans from southern PA revealed that it was all right with both of them if the road shirts said Baltimore again, so all is well.

Speaking of baseball uniforms, if I were a big leaguer, I would go with the BA baggy pants look favored by physical fitness specimens such as C.C. Sabathia. I do not like the sixteen layers of pine tar and tobacco juice that obscure the logo on the batting helmet of lots of guys. I would insist on the real eyeblack instead of the black bandaids now in vogue, and I would wear one of those warm-up jackets on my way to the ballpark and on the way home, just like any other fan.

But that's IF I were a big league ballplayer, and it seems more likely that I will become the winning jockey in this year's Kentucky Derby, although there are those who will tell you that I have a lot in common with the hindquarters of the winner.