Pancake Update #3

I'm a romantic at heart, but many years ago Kenny Rogers gave us all the good advice about knowing when to hold 'em and knowing when to fold 'em, and, you know what, when someone tells you they aren't going to be your partner any more, bow out gracefully and exit, stage left. Right?

Well, not so for Pancake Lady's erstwhile beau, who showed up at her workplace last night with two McDonald's double cheeseburgers and two jumbo Snickers ice cream bars.

Let it be said here that Pancake Lady is one of those fortunate people with a metabolic rate comparable to an Olympic skier or swimmer (duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!) She says that a couple of McDoubles and two b-a Snickers ice cream bars are just what she needs for an evening snack. Lucky lady, indeed.

Oh, and he was also towing two flower arrangements as additional gifts. I guess her workspace must have started looking like the stage of The Price Is Right, with all the gifts piling up like that. They were disposed of thusly: the burgers, trashed. One ice cream bar snackulated, the other saved for breakfast. And the two probably overwrought floral displays were transformed into one chic bouquet.

And he asked her if she was still going to go to his cousin's birthday party this weekend. That takes after the old salesman's trick known as "closing on a minor point." A guy can't decide whether to buy a car or not, and the salesman says, look, if you WERE going to buy a car, would it be the red one or the green one. Once the selection is made in one's mind, it's a simple tug on the line to reel in another fish.

But Ms Pancake is not biting. She just tells him, for the third time, we are breaking up - we HAVE broken up - this is over, goodbye, no more cheeseburgers, ice cream bars or miniature tributes to the Rose Parade.

Mr Cheeseburgers: please, stop tormenting yourself. Do you really want someone who is only with you as a result of your ceaseless begging? Is that what you call true love?

And stop tormenting her, for crying out loud. You're both young people and there is a whole world of other people for both of you to date and know and, I'm sure, one with whom each of you can fall in love forever.

Easy for me to say, ain't it? She feels bad - a bit guilty - and why? He feels rejection, pain, dismay, and it probably exacerbates any self-esteem issues he had.

Kiss and say goodbye, I say. Tomorrow is another day. Good night.