Things I Learned From Andy Hardy movies

Today was a good day to relax, so after I went to physical therapy and burned off some ham and pie, Peggy and I had a nice dinner and enjoyed watching "The Courtship of Andy Hardy" on Turner Classic Movies.

This was the twelfth in the series of Hardy Family movies, and I while I wouldn't recommend them to anyone seriously studying American mores and folkways of the 1930's and 40's, they are just swell for lolling away a lazy afternoon.

And what you can learn!

First of all, you get Mickey Rooney as Andy Hardy, and life mirrors art as he struts his way through all sorts of trouble with the young ladies in his life. Rooney himself (born Joe Yule, Jr in 1920) is still around, and has been in show business since 1921, so even when he was making this particular movie in 1942, he had been performing for 21 years already. I think he has been married like seven times or something ridiculous. Andy/Mickey's jaunty bantam-rooster way of parading about uncannily reminds me a lot of a certain relative of mine, but discretion (what little I have) forbids me from mentioning any of Peggy's brothers.
So, you watch the guy, and you're seeing a ton of talent.

From the movie, we learn that Melodie ,played by the lovely Donna Reed, is considered a drip - a real "drizzle-puss" - by Andy and his school buddies. Melodie is so hideous that Andy, whose father, the judge, strongarms him to take this repulsive mess to the school dance, has to pay his friends to twirl her around the dance floor on their first date. Come the second date, and Melodie has learned a lesson. She simply puts her hair up and all of a sudden, all the guys realize she is quite pretty. Modern-day corollaries to this include sitcoms where some woman takes off her glasses, shakes out her hair, and suddenly, the handsome bachelor in the office goes, "Why, Miss Framingham! Without your glasses, you...you're...STUNNING!" And then they go and do it someplace.

Another common myth spun by Hollywood writers who have never lived among us but write about us as if they had is the legend of the Pretty Girl Who Sits Home On Saturday Night because everyone thinks she is all dated up and they don't even dare to dream to ask her out, so she sits at home with her hair up in italics, knocking back Diet Sprites and fudge. Son, that does not happen, and hookers don't have hearts of gold like in "Pretty Woman" and nobody participating in Roman chariot races wore a wristwatch like that one guy did in "Ben-Hur."

And, when Andy's know-it-all sister goes out on a date with a fellow who is known for being "fast" (he should have been known for being "loud"; he drove around in a car with a huge PA system so he could call out to people in houses and other cars - sort of like a pre-Nokia one-way cell phone) the guy gets shafahzed and Andy's dad throws the contents of a pitcher of water (which every kitchen always has sitting right there, right?) on the guy's melon, and of course he sobers right up and comes to his senses about this alcohol problem he's not going to allow to get the best of him.

The Hardys all dressed up big-time for dinner, at the dining room table with the solemn old judge carving and serving. Today, many families sit in their underwear, guzzling Coors Light and eating pizza, while watching "Deal Or No Deal." I am so worn out now, just from trying to get a visual on Judge Hardy tipping a Domino's guy, I think I'll put on my suit and fedora and go to bed.