I Walk a Thin Line

A local girl attending a local high school complains to the local paper that her local iPod was stolen.

Her story is that she left it in her backpack on a cafeteria table while she went to get in the line and get her food and when she came back to the table, nothing seemed amiss and then later she went to get it out of the backpack and guess what! It was GONE!

The local paper in question being a fishwrap shopper newspaper, the reporter told the story all wide-eyed and dewy, not in the true crime hardbitten style of, say, Mike Hammer. She ran down all the theft statistics for this particular high school and compared them to the other high schools in the county, and mentioned that the young lady really loved her iPod and that it was the one thing that helped her relieve stress.

I hate to lose things myself and I hate to feel like I'm picking on this young lady, but doggone it, why would you leave your valuable electronic gear unattended like that? How do you walk that thin line between teaching children that everyone deserves respect and is basically good at the core, and the sad truth that a certain amount of people steal stuff just to keep their hands busy? Perhaps this iPod was too full of mp3s by the likes of LarCENous and the 2 Steal Crew; if its owner had downloaded podcasts of Robert Frost, she might have heard the line "Good fences make good neighbors." I'm awfully sorry that she had to learn this life lesson at such a high price.

There's a thin line between cynic and victim, I'm afraid. It's more a matter of prevention being more valuable by the ounce. If you assume that someone will rip off your iPod if given half a chance, you won't give them that chance.

If you drive with the notion in the back of your hat that everyone else on the road is either blind drunk, crazy, or just plain trying to kill you, you will have fewer accidents because you will never assume that the Hyundai coming your way is really going to turn because it has its blinker on.

If you make it a point to have your fireplace and chimney swept, keep check on frayed cords and old outlets, and don't store flammable liquids "just for a few days," you won't get to know your local firefighters, at least on a professional basis.

If you don't stack a phone book on top of a rickety step ladder to get up on the eaves and unclog your rain gutter, you will only see your orthopedic surgeon at the golf course on Wednesday afternoons.

If you call 1-800-588-2300, people will show up at your house the NEXT DAY! and cover all the floors with carpeting!