That's LIFE

Among my favorite reading material, you'll find dozens of boxes of old LIFE magazines. I started collecting them maybe 20 years ago, and just like most things, I set up perimeters (such as the one forbidding me to use the word parameter except when describing an independent variable used to express the coordinates of a variable point and its functions) and so I don't collect any post-1969 copies. And, no Beatles albums past "Help!"

What I like most about LIFE is the old ads, to tell you the truth. The articles, mainly photo essays, are good, but they reflect an America and a world that never really existed, as time has borne out. Yes, they covered World War II very well, and then they were a little late to the dance on the social and political upheavals of the 50's and 60's. But the ads! Doctors telling you what kind of cigarette is actually GOOD FOR YOU to smoke! Refrigerators that actually held more than a rib roast and a package of sausage - and frost-free, no less! Teach yourself how to be a tree surgeon in the privacy of your own back yard! "Dog nearly scratches self to death!" Call long distance to let the folks know you got home safely - it's only $3.15 for three minutes after 6 pm!

So, I enjoy reading the old magazines, and of course buying them in antique shops means that every so often you find a little bonus in there - Aunt Maddie's priceless heirloom recipe for pecan divinity fudge written in the margin of an article about the quiz show scandals, or a bill from a haberdashery tucked in between the two-page spread on Jerry Lewis's dream house in Hollywood.


All the haberdasheries had to be torn down to make room for men's clothing stores.

The price has gone up a bit - I used to find them for two or three bucks, and now people want ten or more in a lot of places, which is why my collection is not exactly growing exponentially.

Until today!

We were at an antique store in North East (the name of a town in Northeastern Maryland) and I found the usual display source of old LIFEs - a wooden crate. Even though the magazines were all marked $10, $12, some as high as $18 - there was a sign on the front of the box that said "All magazines 50¢ each." Feeling much like a rabbinical student who just stumbled upon the long-rumored but as-yet-unlocated carbon copies of the Dead Sea Scrolls, I scooted back to the cashier, a man who only moments ago had been loudly enjoying his lunch, to get verification of the price. He said he'd come and check, and went back with me, and at first I thought that life was once again hoisting the "too good to be true" flag because he said, "Now, here's another sign - all items 50% off - so, all these magazines are a quarter." He said he didn't know why, but the owner just wanted to get rid of them, he supposed.

You know how they can sell a single Honus Wagner baseball card for millions of dollars? Did you ever stop to think that somewhere back around 1906 or whenever it was that some tobacco company printed those cards, only to be told to knock it off by the nonsmoking Wagner, some guy - a whole lot of guys, probably - got those cards with their smokes and then tossed out a fortune? All these copies of LIFE that I bought today sold for a dime or 15 cents at newsstands back in the day.


The total price, had I paid the marked asking price, was $304.

I paid $6.15.

Life is freakin' sweet!