It pays to live longer

I need to get to Missoula, Montana and have dinner at the Montana Club, where they have a special deal when it's your birthday: they give you your age off the bill, expressed as a percentage.  So let's say you turn 40 ("you turn 40"), and now let's say you tie on the feedbag at the club. Your salad, baked patootie and steak will be served with a savings of 40%!

So the older you get, the more you save at the Montana Club! A geezer such as I can really clean up, sure, but how about Helen Self?

She was 100 when she went for a birthday ride on a Harley.

At 108, she made the exclusive list of "the two oldest people in Montana."

So now, she's 109, and off she went to the Montana Club. She had the breaded shrimp platter for $14.99, which came with a salad, a loaded baked potato and coleslaw. 

Nick Alonzo is the owner of the Club, and true to his word, he gave her a dollar and change and charged her nothing!

In return she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

On her way out, Self was heard to say, “I’ll come back next year,”  according to her daughter Shirley Gunter, 86. “Don’t tell his wife I kissed him.”

You gonna bet against her being there?