Tuesday, May 2, 2017

It's for you

Judges don't like cell phones in their courtrooms for the obvious reasons...they don't want people taking pictures of Uncle Nutsy being led off in shackles, they don't want people making calls or playing videos during the proceedings...

And as sure as Clarence Thomas likes a nice cold can of Coke, they don't want to hear your ringtone ringing out loud!

This rule extends from the local district court level, where traffic, trespassing and misdemeanor cases are adjudicated, all the way to the US Supreme Court, where cases are heard that involve people who have recently hosted The Supremes for weekend getaways.

The other day at the Supreme Court, a fascinating legal battle involving the case of Bristol-Myers Squibb Co. v. Superior Court of California - I'm sure you've been following that one with me - was underway, and someone's cell rang.

Image result for stephen breyer
The justice prepares
to answer the call
And it was the cell belonging to Justice Stephen Breyer! And it made his seatmate, Justice Thomas, laugh out loud, which was novel, because Thomas only speaks out loud every ten years.

We've all been embarrassed by poorly-timed ringie-dingies, so don't feel too bad, Mr. Breyer.  And the journalists present in the courtroom were not able to identify what his tone is, so quick was he to mute the device.  I would hope it sounded like this, though.

By the way, Breyer has nothing to do with the ice cream that bears his name, and I'm not fudging the facts at all when I say he had a rocky road to travel to arrive at the Supreme Court. But he kept chipping away, and that's the real scoop.

By the way, this would be a good time to share a true story from my days as a working man, where I worked with a wonderful nurse who just happened to have the last name as a famous bakery. Her surname was Thomas. And every time a new employee came to work with us, I made sure to tell them they should feel honored to work with someone who, despite being heiress to the English muffin fortune, still came to work day after day, healing the lame and halt and spreading cheer like marmalade on a....you know what.

I had half the staff believing it before long! I did better with that one than when I tried convincing people that Ralph Nader had a brother named Yuri.

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