Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Willow weep for Willow

We talked here before about the children of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith and their amazing egos, fed by their parents' similar overwhelming senses of self regard.

Every time some magazine interviews these kids (Jaden, soon to turn 18, and Willow, who will turn a bewitching 16 on Halloween this year) it's a gold mine of silly solipsistic quotes, e.g:

"It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds." - Jaden

"I have a goal to be just the most craziest person of all time. And when I say craziest, I mean, like, I want to do like Olympic-level things. I want to be the most durable person on the planet."  -Jaden.

"There are no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing."  - Willow.

"I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist." - Willow.

Jaden also points out that there is no sense in anyone taking driver's ed, because look at how many accidents occur every day! 

I don't mean to pick on these kids too much; I know their parents Will and Jada (local Baltimore woman) have a lot going on and maybe they don't have time to take the kids on a trip to the real world.  And heaven knows, we all know how we can make time go fast (go out to dinner with friends, or watch a great movie, or take a walk in the park) or slow (have a root canal, wait for your car to have new ball joints installed, listen to a Yanni CD.)  

But young Willow intrigues me with the idea of writing one's own novel!  Why bother with the pedestrian ramblings of Kerouac, Dickens and Wolfe, when we can just write our own novels?

Home decor?  Who needs Rembrandt, Rockwell or Wyeth, when something you did yourself in third grade  - a lifelike drawing of a Thanksgiving turkey, using your own hand for the outline - can light up the atrium all year long?

And why bother listening to Mozart, Jagger and Richards, or even Jerry Lee Lewis, when you can get out your old cassette recordings of when you played "Glow Worm" on the saxophone at the church basement teenage dance?

Willow, as crazy as it sounds, you just might be onto something here!  

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