Listeners recently were treated to that old Simon and Garfunkel classic, "Sounds of Silence," followed by The Tremeloes with "Silence is Golden" and then "Enjoy the Silence" by Depeche Mode. No. I kid. Anyone could play those records, but the all-night DJ on KVMR fell asleep during her own show! And she was playing a Native American flute marathon! The show is called American Timbres, and she started the fluteathon off strong at 2 AM, but by 3:30 in the yawning, she was out cold and there was naught but dead air on the station except that she left her mic open, and there was the "the soft, yet distinct sound of gentle snoring," according to the news story on AOL.
The best part is that a few listeners believed that the snoring was part of the show.
Lynn Cooke operates the crisis line overnight for that community, and she likes the wafting, lilting sounds of Native American flutes in the room as she counsels the forlorn. “The flute sounds are perfect for my stressful shift when I’m helping people in need. Then there was silence, so I thought someone screwed up. It happens, you know? However it went on for over twenty minutes and then the snoring started. It was pretty funny.”
The article in The Nevada County Scooper went on to say that American Timbres is the #1 show in hotly-contested overnight ratings battle in Nevada County. Its chief competition is Coast to Coast AM, one of those shows that deals in conspiracies and aliens and pyramid UFOs flying over Brazil, for the 37 people in this nation with time to invest in fol-de-rol.
Also making news among the recent KVMR staff notes was the discovery that their former evening DJ, James E. Stanley, was in fact a recently escaped psych ward patient. The people at the Nevada County Health and Human Services Department were able to unmask the psych patient-turned-DJ by seeing through his clever ruse of using his own name.
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“There was a lot of commotion,” said one witness who chose to remain anonymous. “There was a lot of shouting about the Illuminati and forced vaccines from the police state. All weird stuff. They just shoved him in the car and drove off. It was really odd.”
Oh, THAT was odd?
I think it's best for California and me to remain strangers. I love some people who live there (Anne, Pat, Sam, Chris, Jonie, Katie, Patricia, Tracy) and they have a tremendous governor in Jerry Brown. But how could I relate to James E. Stanley?