Wednesday, October 14, 2015

A sharper look at razors

Men from the age of puberty (that's when you're old enough to go to a pub) know the face pain that no other gender faces, and we face it on a daily basis (until we retire, and the only other person we might see from the outside world is the letter carrier or the crew on the recycling truck.)

Of course, we are talking about shaving here, and here's the deal. When you don't need to shave, when your face is still all peachfuzzy, you can't wait to grab some steel and drag it across the plains of your cheeks, upper lip, and neck.  Then you get out of high school, and unless your name is Don Johnson, you have to shave, more or less every day.

And that's when you learn about the styptic pencil. According to Wikipedia, "(s)typtics cause hemostasis by contracting blood vessels."  Hemostasis is defining as the stopping of a flow of blood. Blood is defined as the red stuff that you get on the one and only clean dress shirt you are wearing as you hurriedly shave and dress for a job interview or date or some other such event.
Cousin Eddie in court

Of course, some guys beat the shaving deal by just letting everything go, but that just makes it easier to spot you trying to sneak back into the US via the Vermont/Canada border.

The reason all this comes to mind is that I see that, a new online business that ships you razors through the mail, is cutting into (sorry) that business once monopolized by Schick and Gillette.  I have no reason to believe their product is any better or worse than the longtime industry leaders, but I notice from their website that they also sell a toilet paper replacement called "One Wipe Charlies" (sic), a hair goo called "Boogie's Hair Clay," and "Dr Carver's Easy Shave Butter."  

I am particular enough about my wizened old face that I do insist on buying name brand razors instead of cheapie BICs that come 48 to the package, but the day I start putting butter on my face is the day I join the No Shave Club.

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