Wednesday, May 13, 2015

I'm not kidding: I found this on

The bedraggled visage of Jeff Waters, seen here, belies a business sense that would be the envy of Wall Street and Silicon Valley.

Jeff, here, bought a blank check from one Tito Watts for a hundred bucks.  (Note to self: purchase lock for checkbook.) Jeff then went into a Bank of America, attempting to cash a check for $368,000,000,000 dollars.  I love the next line in the story: "Tellers at the bank in Jacksonville, FL,  were immediately suspicious."

And before you jump to the conclusion that Jeff's story is totally bogus, please be advised that he considers himself to be in the clear, because Tito told him the check would be good for any amount he wrote on it.

He needed the $368 billion to open his dream business: an Italian restaurant.

“It’s always been my dream to own the best Italian restaurant in the earth,” Waters told police. “I’m 10% Italian. Cooking authentic Italian food is in my blood. I had planned to make the restaurant 80 million sq. feet and able to accommodated (sic) 30 million eaters at once, plus it was gonna be totally underwater so people could look at sharks while they ate. But the bank wouldn’t give me my money they owed me. Tito said the check was good for any amount I wanted to write it for. So blame Tito, not me. I’m as innocent as a schoolgirl.”

While the police were booking Chef Boy Oh Boy for the attempted check fraud, they also charged him with unlawfully carrying Chinese throwing stars and possessing bath salts. He was released after posting $23,000 bail.

Gee, I hope he didn't write them a check for it.

No comments: