Situation: Company's coming in half an hour, and you forgot to pick up some fresh mozzarella cheese to go with the heirloom tomatoes in your antipasto, which is an Italian word meaning "against pasto." (Similarly, to steal again from Bob Newhart, "provolone" means "in favor of volone.")
What do you do? What DO you do? Get the keys to the Volvo and drive back to the Bag 'N' Save, go past the displays of items seen in all grocery stores these days (40" TV monitors, pomegranate seed jelly and garden hoses) and grab some fresh mozzarella? You can even stylize things and call it fresh "mootzarellllllll" if you have time, but you really should hurry, because the Crankingtons and the O'Hoolahans will be driving up in their Buicks soon.
You see, now the ability to learn how to make your own cheese is within your reach!
Make my own cheese, you say?
As with everything else, it's all in watching a video to learn how. All you need is some whole milk, apple cider vinegar, some salt and spices, and a stove. To be simple about, you heat the milk to a boil, dump in the other stuff, and then separate the curds and whey while sitting on a tuffet. It looks like fun, and it would certainly be fresher than something that sat in the walk-in dairy cooler at the Try 'N' Shop next to some spoiled yogurt, but how will it taste? It might be fun to find out.
And before we go running off to find out what a tuffet is, one more stop on the information highway. This is a link to a place where they will teach you to raise your own mushrooms on your own blue jeans.
Now your days off are gonna be so busy!!!!