Thursday, March 17, 2011

They call it August because that's when we pray for a gust of wind

Andy Warhol was famous for about fifteen minutes, for predicting a similar fate for all of us.  

While you and I await our turns, let's turn to overnight sensation Ted Williams.  The irony there is that baseball's greatest hitter (or so he said!), The Splendid Splinter of the Boston Red Sox, was no overnight sensation.  He was one of the few men to play major league baseball in four decades.  In Ted's case, that would be the 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's.  And, unlike anyone else, Ted took time from hitting baseballs and cursing reporters to fly fighter jets in two wars in two of those decades.

But the overnight sensation Ted Williams was the erstwhile homeless Ohioan (Ohioite? Ohioer?) with the natural baritone pipes who made the most of his fifteen minutes in January, being on a video that went viral, being on all the ShowBiz shows before C. Sheen started acting up, being reunited with his mother, getting popped by LA police for fighting with his daughter, recording macaroni and cheese spots, and going to alcohol rehab, all, seemingly, in one day.

Now he has been booked to come to our fair city as the voice of Baltimore Fashion Week this August.  This august event will be held at a hall down on Thames St.  Not for us, the snooty British way to say "Temms." We say it like it's spelled, "THAYmes."  Same as we do with Auchentoroly Terrace.  

Baltimore is, of course, known as a fashion Mecca for those who like the way we look.  Designers from Rome, London and Paris (Georgia, Ontario and Tennessee) come to marvel at our shorts that look like the pants that MC Hammer used to wear, and our hoodies with indecipherable slogans and mottoes all over, usually in Olde English.  Today, they will pay special attention to how GREEN everything is!

We will, of course, continue to keep a close eye on Baltimore fashion as plans for Baltimore fashion week unfold like a tank top with a Rolling Stones lolling tongue logo.  Welcome, Ted Williams!  
Note to Ted: it's hotter than the hinges on Hades here in August.  Insist on air conditioning in your hotel and limo.  You'll thank me later.

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