Sunday, December 13, 2009

Are You Sirius?

So yesterday, I had to run into Barnes & Noble to pick up a couple of items. It's Saturday, right, less than 14 days til Christmas, but I played an ace that I keep in my jeans pocket. I'm not about to try to park at the gargantuan Towson Town Center, formerly Towsontowne Centre, and before that, Towson Plaza. Even in the middle of the afternoon, people looked like rats on crack vying to win a horrible game of musical chairs for the few open spaces in the 57,000*-space parking garage. My clever ploy is to park down at the Sheraton Hotel, which is about as empty on weekends as Tiger Woods's plans with his wife, and then sashay through the lobby, up one flight and onto the skywalk connecting the virtually empty hotel with the virtually full mall. Then, it's just a matter of taking the escalator up two flights, hanging a right and walking through Macy's, and you're through to Barnes & Noble! Off you go!

By the way, the mall seems to be setting a record for Mall Accosters this year - the Dead Sea Scrolls people, the We Make Good Scents people and the Thing Containing Buckeyes That You Nuke And Wrap Around Your Sore, Aching Shoulders people are all out in full force, blocking your path and mine with their in-your-face questions. The Buckeye people are even offering a "free sample," but you and I both know just how free that little pillow is going to wind up being, the time you by the Deluxe Gift Set for Uncle Earl back home (it's got to be good for his lumbago.)

But I can deal with The Mall Accosters because I know how to sidestep them. I simply sidestep them. What really threw me was, when I went to go into Barnes & Noble, at the completion of my hike, a woman was walking her dog right outside of the store, and then she picked up the dog - a cocker spaniel sort of pooch - and CARRIED HIM INTO the store. A dude was sitting by the door ready to autograph his book for any takers and I asked him if he knew was up with that. He said it was the first dog he had seen come in yesterday, but that another woman, earlier, had brought in an owl. Clearly a wise move. Maybe she wanted a job at Hooters** (two miles east.)

So come on and tell me why people would bring animals - except for service animals, obviously - into a book store. We might hear from a lot of "love me, love my dog" types, but I need to have this answered, please! Thank you.

**not that I've ever been there.

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