Friday, September 4, 2009

Problem, We Have a Houston

Well, I see on the internets that Chris Brown is steamed at Oprah and Whitney Houston is sore at Oprah, which can only mean one thing: it's September, and time for all-new! Oprah episodes. Soon.

The first story I saw on the fabulous Comcastic home page was about ol' Whitney, who can't quite pull off the high notes as she used to do. Performing for a loyal audience on Good Morning America, she resorted to waving instead of singing, prancing around in leather pants, and introducing her daughter Bobbi Christina as "me and Bobby's baby."

Sic transit gloria, English language.

But the story went on to say that Whitney blamed her poor singing on Oprah Winfrey, because she had to talk to Oprah for the premiere episode of the Oprah gabfest, set to air 9/14. Apparently, talking for a while leads inexorably to sore throats, a fact that, if accepted as medical truth, will surely lead to thousands of workers' comp filings by auctioneers, stag bar barkers, and talk show hosts.

But I hung around the 'nets for a while longer to see the story where Chris Brown has come out swinging on old Oprah. The man who this week was given probation, ordered to stay away from the girlfriend he battered and given other sanctions for domestic violence was complaining that Oprah was mean to him by putting on a show back in March to warn other women that if a man hits you once, he will hit you again. Mr Brown, vying to use the most poorly-chosen metaphor of the year, said that, considering all he had done for Oprah over the years, her actions were a "slap in his face."

Chris. Chris. Chris.

And, English-language lovers, here's your morsel: the woman who presents these celebri-tidbits on Comcastic said that Chris indicated that Oprah should have "showed" him more kindness in his time of trouble.

As I heard on FOX45 News one night, "I guess he should not have went there!"

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