Griffith Parked

From the pages of "Entertainment Weekly":

Actress Melanie Griffith, 52, has checked into a rehab facility, her rep confirmed on Aug. 25, saying, "This is part of a routine plan that was designed between her and her doctor years ago."

Well, this is stunning. We've reached the point in our therapy where doctors install the failure chip right from the get-go. It's all part of your medical dossier: Griffith, M, 52, annual checkup date, check, post-age-50 colonoscopy date, check, relapse/readmit to rehab, check.

I have nothing against people needing treatment. There are danged few of us who don't need some help for something. But, what's the old saying, If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail! And here, Melanie's doctors are already planning for her to fail, so they plan for her to go back to the clinic. That's where I find fault with this. How about, you go get well and plan to stay that way?

The more you read, the sadder it gets, and I already feel sorry for anyone who has spent a significant amount of time with Don Johnson. The first time she went to rehab, it was for that traditional moviestar problem of an addiction to painkillers that she got on to treat a back injury (1998.) The last time, it was because she admitted she really likes cocaine and booze. (2000).

Griffith once told an Australian magazine that she's "lucky to be alive. I was never as bad as some people I knew, shooting heroin and stuff. But I did do a lot of drinking and cocaine. I just thought I was having a good time."

Maybe if she were to get away from Hollywood, the place about which Oscar Levant said, "When you scrape away all the tinsel and glitter from Hollywood, underneath, there's more tinsel and glitter," she might find the help that repeated trips to rehab have not brought her.