Saturday, December 22, 2018
The Saturday Picture Show, December 22, 2018
Friday, December 21, 2018
It's the time of the season
This is the day I look forward to all year, and from here on, it's all downhill.
Not talking about the big sale on men's furnishings at Sears, although heaven knows we could all use some new furnishings.
It's the first day of winter! Huzzah! At 5:23 this afternoon, it's winter, with the solstice taking place. That means that today is the shortest day and the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, with only 9 hours and 15 minutes of daylight until darkness comes.
No sun fan, I, so of course my favorite day is the day with the least of it.
It's interesting to be on Facebook and have friends in Australia and other spots in the Southern Hemisphere. Down under, today is the beginning of summer. And I am sure there are those who live in one hemisphere for six months of the year and move to the other so that they get unending summer, or winter, depending.
The word solstice comes from the Latin words "sol" (sun) and "sistere" (to stand still). Today, the sun’s path reaches its southernmost point. It seems to take a while for the sun to get its momentum going again, so much so that for days, the sun appears to be on a still path. That's why so many cultures have associated this time of year with death and rebirth. For example,the Farmers’ Almanac tells us that in the Druidic tradition, "the Winter Solstice is thought of as a time of death and rebirth when Nature’s powers and our own souls are renewed. The birth of the New Sun is thought to revive the Earth’s aura in mystical ways, giving a new lease on life to spirits and souls of the dead."
Not for nothing, this is the day that Congress might be stalemated on a new budget, forcing the federal government to stand still until someone figures how to get things going again.
Happy solstice, everyone! Embrace the shade!
Not talking about the big sale on men's furnishings at Sears, although heaven knows we could all use some new furnishings.
It's the first day of winter! Huzzah! At 5:23 this afternoon, it's winter, with the solstice taking place. That means that today is the shortest day and the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, with only 9 hours and 15 minutes of daylight until darkness comes.
No sun fan, I, so of course my favorite day is the day with the least of it.
It's interesting to be on Facebook and have friends in Australia and other spots in the Southern Hemisphere. Down under, today is the beginning of summer. And I am sure there are those who live in one hemisphere for six months of the year and move to the other so that they get unending summer, or winter, depending.
The word solstice comes from the Latin words "sol" (sun) and "sistere" (to stand still). Today, the sun’s path reaches its southernmost point. It seems to take a while for the sun to get its momentum going again, so much so that for days, the sun appears to be on a still path. That's why so many cultures have associated this time of year with death and rebirth. For example,the Farmers’ Almanac tells us that in the Druidic tradition, "the Winter Solstice is thought of as a time of death and rebirth when Nature’s powers and our own souls are renewed. The birth of the New Sun is thought to revive the Earth’s aura in mystical ways, giving a new lease on life to spirits and souls of the dead."
Not for nothing, this is the day that Congress might be stalemated on a new budget, forcing the federal government to stand still until someone figures how to get things going again.
Happy solstice, everyone! Embrace the shade!
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Cheap Trick
There are a few ways to tell if someone is really from Baltimore, or just faking it.
- Show them a street sign that says MONUMENT ST or LOMBARD ST and ask where they are. If they answer, "MINEyament Street" or "Lumbered Street," they're good to go.
- Ask them to finish the couplet that begins "Polock Johnny is my name..." and if they smile and say, "Polish sausage is my game," they're "for the real."
- Ask if they want Old Bay sprinkled on their corn or shrimp salad or chicken or stuffed lobster. If they say yes, they are legit. If they wrinkle their nose or go, "What's Old Bay?" you are dealing with a highkey fake.
Here in Baltimore, Maryland we love Old Bay Seasoning, that tasty blend of celery salt, black pepper, crushed red pepper flakes, and paprika that we put on everything...sometimes IN ice cream. It's that good.
And we don't cotton to fakes, which is why McCormick and Co., the owners and manufacturers of the spice, filed a federal lawsuit this week claiming that a Pittsburgh spice company that produces a seasoning called New Bae is actually producing a trademark infringement.
Primal Palate is the company involved, and the suit says with some justification that they are intentionally trading on the fame and goodwill of Old Bay. McCormick’s suit states that New Bae is intended to create a wrongful association with Old Bay and to diminish its reputation, according to court records. In other words, fool 'em and sell 'em a cheap fake.
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| A one-week supply for most Baltimore homes |
McCormick is all in with this suit, demanding that all profits from New Bae sales be turned right over to McCormick and that everything - products, merchandise or records - with the "New Bae" name be destroyed.
“Old Bay is a household favorite with millions of loyal consumers here in Maryland and around the country,” McCormick representative Lori Amos Robinson says. “This lawsuit was filed by McCormick to protect the trademark and avoid confusion with other brands. [Old Bay] is one of the most cherished brands in the McCormick portfolio and we intend to defend it.”
Hayley and Bill Staley are the founders of the New Bae imitation spice; they just "created" it last fall. They say that they “didn’t intend to set up a terrible pun with this blend, but it’s really become the sweetheart blend in our kitchen.”
The legal wrangling began at once. The Staleys applied to register New Bae as a trademarked organic spice. McCormick, with justification, filed an opposition to the application and sent a cease-and-desist letter to Primal Palate in April.
PP replied with some of the worst legal moves since Rudy Giuliani, admitting that the name New Bae was intentionally chosen to create an association with Old Bay.
I'll rule on this one: Duh.
Primal Palate took to the legal courtroom known as Instagram, vowing to fight the suit and asking followers to “save New Bae.”
“Our blend is of course a nod to Old Bay, since we are always striving to offer organic, healthy options for our audiences, and provide full transparency with ingredients,” the post says.
“We do not see any merit to their claims, as we feel like it’s far from likely to confuse customers, and our blends are also very very different. In fact, the way we named it was meant to differentiate it, not to mention we don’t even know what the ingredients are in Old Bay.”
Hayley Staley (I love people whose names rhyme) says Wow! What a surprise!
“We're a small, family-owned business and all of our heart and soul goes into our blends, so it's hard for me to feel someone wants to take that away from us,” Staley said. “It's pretty devastating actually.”
Let me walk you through this, Hayley Staley, because it's a legal minefield, but you can't set up a hamburger stand and peddle something you call a "Bigg Mack" because, well, copyright laws. I wouldn't try to come out with "Budd Wiser" beer or the "Player Station" video game or an "Eye Pad" tablet either.
But you can call your product "Cheap Fake" and get away with it, probably.
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
Winner Winner
We always see those stories about some guy cleaning out the center console in his Chevy Biscayne, and, while doing so, finding a million-dollar lottery ticket that's about to expire in 25 minutes.
How about one where some guy buys a Mega Millions ticket that hits for a million simoleons and then never claims the money?
Down in Fort Washington, Maryland, a person unknown plunked down money for a ticket, and picked a winner, and unless he or she shows up at the Lottery office by Christmas Eve, that piece of paper will be a bookmark soon, because the ticket was never turned in.
The winner was bought the very day of the drawing - June 26 of this year. The winning numbers were 17, 25, 29, 39 and 60; the Mega Ball number was 19.
If you remember visiting Tantallon Exxon at 10815 Indian Head Highway on that day in early summer, perhaps you bought that winning ducat and shoved it into one of the 8 pockets in your cargo shorts. If so, look in your pants and take that ticket to the to the Maryland Lottery Customer Resource Center at 1800 Washington Boulevard in Baltimore.
Technically, the day the game expires is a state holiday, so the winner must claim the prize by 4:15 p.m. Monday, Dec. 24.
But just think of how many new pairs of cargo pants you can get for your million! All Fort Washingtonians should look for the ticket at once.
How about one where some guy buys a Mega Millions ticket that hits for a million simoleons and then never claims the money?
Down in Fort Washington, Maryland, a person unknown plunked down money for a ticket, and picked a winner, and unless he or she shows up at the Lottery office by Christmas Eve, that piece of paper will be a bookmark soon, because the ticket was never turned in.
The winner was bought the very day of the drawing - June 26 of this year. The winning numbers were 17, 25, 29, 39 and 60; the Mega Ball number was 19.
If you remember visiting Tantallon Exxon at 10815 Indian Head Highway on that day in early summer, perhaps you bought that winning ducat and shoved it into one of the 8 pockets in your cargo shorts. If so, look in your pants and take that ticket to the to the Maryland Lottery Customer Resource Center at 1800 Washington Boulevard in Baltimore.
Technically, the day the game expires is a state holiday, so the winner must claim the prize by 4:15 p.m. Monday, Dec. 24.
But just think of how many new pairs of cargo pants you can get for your million! All Fort Washingtonians should look for the ticket at once.
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
In a Pear Tree
They haven't released the prices of all the 12 gifts for 2018 yet, "they" being the people over at the Consumer Price Index, where every year, people with adding machines, calculators and abacuses ("abaci"???); figure out just how much it will cost someone to send The Twelve Gifts Of Christmas to their love. Here are the prices for last year, the last time anyone did all the math on this. Of course, if you're the sort of guy who's canoodling with two lovers at a time, better double the prices, fella. Women don't play like that, and we don't know why you would.
Of course, the price of everything goes up a bit every year, so figure on spending around $35,000 to make someone's heart light up with holiday joy. In 2017, the exact tab was $34,558.65.
And of course, with the price of gold going up every time Ariana Grande gets engaged, figure on the Five Golden Rings being a bit pricier now. Anyone who has been to the live tree section at Home Depot knows that a pear tree goes for a lot more than it used to, although the price of partridges varies with the availability of Danny Bonaduce. Just kidding. He couldn't BE more available.
Anyway, here’s the breakdown of cost for the 12 days:
A Partridge in a pear tree will cost $220 as compared to $210 last year. The partridge price remained the same as last year (talking about real birds) but it was the price of the pear tree that went up.
In other bird pricing news, two Turtle Doves are holding in price as the past few years - still $375.
Three French hens are the same price this year at $182.
Four calling birds held the line at $600. I guess they're the calling birds without an unlimited plan.
Five Golden Rings did go up this year to $825 compared to last year's $750. The price of gold fluctuates all the time.
Six Geese-a-laying, @$60 per goose, comes to $360. You go downtown and try to get a goose for less, and you'll see.
Seven Swans-a-swimming is one of the most expensive items on the list, although, it has held steady these past few years: $13,125. And let me tell you, as peaceful as those swans look, they are some mean suckers.
Eight Maids-a-milking did not increase in 2018 and stayed at $58.
Nine Ladies dancing, another expensive item in the 12 days - is unchanged at $7,553. You don't want union trouble, do you? Pay the going rate and no one will bother you.
Ten Lords-a-leaping did go up this year, the only labor group that saw an increase. Expect to shell out $5,619, up $110 from last Christmas. I guess these Lords are members of the American Olympic Broad Jump team, and so you are sponsoring ten athletes. Not bad.
Eleven Pipers, proud members of the Musicians' Union, will pipe up on their pipes for the love of your love for $2,708.
Similarly, Twelve Drummers drumming had a zero % change from last year, keeping the beat steady at $2,934.
Total cost of the Twelve Days of Christmas was $34, 559. We'll take cash or check only, no credit cards.
Of course, the price of everything goes up a bit every year, so figure on spending around $35,000 to make someone's heart light up with holiday joy. In 2017, the exact tab was $34,558.65.
And of course, with the price of gold going up every time Ariana Grande gets engaged, figure on the Five Golden Rings being a bit pricier now. Anyone who has been to the live tree section at Home Depot knows that a pear tree goes for a lot more than it used to, although the price of partridges varies with the availability of Danny Bonaduce. Just kidding. He couldn't BE more available.
Anyway, here’s the breakdown of cost for the 12 days:
A Partridge in a pear tree will cost $220 as compared to $210 last year. The partridge price remained the same as last year (talking about real birds) but it was the price of the pear tree that went up.
In other bird pricing news, two Turtle Doves are holding in price as the past few years - still $375.
Three French hens are the same price this year at $182.
Four calling birds held the line at $600. I guess they're the calling birds without an unlimited plan.
Five Golden Rings did go up this year to $825 compared to last year's $750. The price of gold fluctuates all the time.
Six Geese-a-laying, @$60 per goose, comes to $360. You go downtown and try to get a goose for less, and you'll see.
Seven Swans-a-swimming is one of the most expensive items on the list, although, it has held steady these past few years: $13,125. And let me tell you, as peaceful as those swans look, they are some mean suckers.
Eight Maids-a-milking did not increase in 2018 and stayed at $58.
Nine Ladies dancing, another expensive item in the 12 days - is unchanged at $7,553. You don't want union trouble, do you? Pay the going rate and no one will bother you.
Ten Lords-a-leaping did go up this year, the only labor group that saw an increase. Expect to shell out $5,619, up $110 from last Christmas. I guess these Lords are members of the American Olympic Broad Jump team, and so you are sponsoring ten athletes. Not bad.
Eleven Pipers, proud members of the Musicians' Union, will pipe up on their pipes for the love of your love for $2,708.
Similarly, Twelve Drummers drumming had a zero % change from last year, keeping the beat steady at $2,934.
Total cost of the Twelve Days of Christmas was $34, 559. We'll take cash or check only, no credit cards.
Monday, December 17, 2018
Special Delivery
How's the food where you work?
I mean, especially around the holidays, a lot of workplaces have ways of sharing great holiday meals. And other places, all year long, people bring and make great meals. Fire stations are the prime example of this. Men and women who don't exactly get to punch out for lunch make great meals by pitching in from salad to dessert with a great main course along the way.
Then there's the International Space Station, so far out that there's not even a Burger King at which to dock.
But last week they got their Christmas dinner delivered, and now all the they have to do is warm it up and tie it down so it doesn't float away weightlessly!
SpaceX sent up a Dragon capsule from Florida, and now the crew has smoked turkey, green bean casserole, candied yams, cranberry sauce and fruitcake. They also have shortbread and butter cookies, and tubes of icing for decorating. No rum for the fruitcake, I assume.
250 miles above the Pacific Ocean, Commander Alexander Gerst used the space station's robotic arm to grab the cargo carrier from the capsule. It took two tries, but then, how many times have you had to go through the drive-thru twice because the kid behind the counter was fooling around with the french fry guy and forgot your dippin' sauce?
Since 2000, there have been astronauts aboard the space station every Christmas. Three of the space station's current residents will be on board (but will have the day off!) for Christmas; the other three will return to Earth this Thursday.
And hey - just so no one forgets that serious work goes on up there, the Dragon also dropped off 40 mice and 36,000 worms for aging and muscle studies.
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Space Mouse! I can see it now.
I mean, especially around the holidays, a lot of workplaces have ways of sharing great holiday meals. And other places, all year long, people bring and make great meals. Fire stations are the prime example of this. Men and women who don't exactly get to punch out for lunch make great meals by pitching in from salad to dessert with a great main course along the way.
Then there's the International Space Station, so far out that there's not even a Burger King at which to dock.
But last week they got their Christmas dinner delivered, and now all the they have to do is warm it up and tie it down so it doesn't float away weightlessly!
SpaceX sent up a Dragon capsule from Florida, and now the crew has smoked turkey, green bean casserole, candied yams, cranberry sauce and fruitcake. They also have shortbread and butter cookies, and tubes of icing for decorating. No rum for the fruitcake, I assume.
250 miles above the Pacific Ocean, Commander Alexander Gerst used the space station's robotic arm to grab the cargo carrier from the capsule. It took two tries, but then, how many times have you had to go through the drive-thru twice because the kid behind the counter was fooling around with the french fry guy and forgot your dippin' sauce?
Since 2000, there have been astronauts aboard the space station every Christmas. Three of the space station's current residents will be on board (but will have the day off!) for Christmas; the other three will return to Earth this Thursday.
And hey - just so no one forgets that serious work goes on up there, the Dragon also dropped off 40 mice and 36,000 worms for aging and muscle studies.
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Space Mouse! I can see it now.
Sunday, December 16, 2018
Sunday Rerun: Another cheesy use for classical music
Rossini
Italian composer Gioachino Antonio Rossini (1792 – 1868) wrote 39 operas, as well as many other songs, but we know him best for "The William Tell Overture," which was used for years as the theme song to "The Oprah Winfrey Show" "The Lone Ranger" on radio and television. William Tell was a 14th-century Swiss hero immortalized today for splitting an apple off the head of his son Walter, as ordered by an overlord who was steamed at Tell for not bowing before the hat of the overlord, which was hung in the town square for all to revere.
I'm not making this up!
The overlord was going to kill Tell, but forced him into the arrow-apple bit, and Tell secretly took two arrows out of his quiver before launching one at old Walter, the idea being that if he got Walter in the Adam's apple, rather than the Red Delicious atop his head, Tell would use the other arrow on Gessler, the politically-appointed head cheese who was causing all this trouble.
Gonna need hot sauce, please
Speaking of cheese...The William Tell Overture was the last opera that Rossini wrote, although he lived almost 40 more years. He was a noted gourmand over in Italy and spent a lot of those years devising recipes and dishes that we still order today. Working with his close friend, Dante "Veal" Parmigiana, Rossini came up with Tournedos Rossini, described as "filet mignon pan-fried in butter, served on a crouton, topped with a hot slice of fresh pan-fried foie gras, garnished with slices of black truffle and finished with a Madeira demi-glace sauce."
That's not quite as catchy as "two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions on a sesame-seed bun," but it's close. And Tournedos Rossini doesn't even have cheese!
The reason this song is on my mind is that baseball season is over here in Baltimore, and with it goes the radio commercial for a certain car dealer, which we all heard a thousand times per game, it seemed. The jingle for the car dealer (let's call him "Rog Dodge") took the Lone Ranger melody and chirped, "Save a buck, save a buck, save a buck buck buck on a Rog Dodge Jeep, car, van or truck!"That is not at all what either Gioachino Antonio Rossini or Buck Showalter, for that matter, had in mind, I'm sure. It's just another way of misusing great classical music for modern commercial gain.
Saturday, December 15, 2018
The Saturday Picture Show, December 15, 2018
Friday, December 14, 2018
To the moon, Alice
Tell me something. Why do we listen to inane remarks from people unschooled?
I don't really follow basketball, but I understand it takes a lot of talent to run up and down the court for a couple of hours, throwing a ball into a hoop ten feet high. And the morning TV shows just crazy-go-nuts over this guy Steph Curry, who has an attractive wife and a cute little daughter and whom Robin Roberts and others refer to as 'Superstar Steph Curry" and who wins a lot of games and who denies we ever sent people to the moon.
Yes, he said it, like when his fellow NBA "superstar" Kyrie Irving said earth is flat. Curry said, on the "Winging It" podcast,
"We ever been to the moon?"
And several other basketballers crooned in reply, "Nope."
"They're going to come get us, I don't think so either," Curry replied. "Sorry, I don't want to start any conspiracies."
He meant he didn't want to promulgate conspiracy theories, because the people who foisted off these non-landings started the conspiracy, if there was one, which there wasn't.
Leave it to Twitter to reply. People said things like, "Don't be stupid," and "it's not cool what you're doing."
It's neither cool nor smart.
NASA, those brainy people who put people on the moon, did the best thing. They invited Curry to come over and visit and see evidence of our having been on the moon.
"We'd love for Mr. Curry to tour the lunar lab at our Johnson Space Center in Houston, perhaps the next time the Warriors are in town to play the Rockets," NASA spokesman Allard Beutel told the New York Times. "We have hundreds of pounds of moon rocks stored there, and the Apollo mission control. During his visit, he can see firsthand what we did 50 years ago, as well as what we're doing now to go back to the moon in the coming years, but this time to stay."
From all that I read and hear, Curry is a great ballplayer, a leader on and off the court, a nice person who deals with the media and with fans equably, and has the reputation of reaching out to kids and young athletes. He attended Davidson College in North Carolina, and although he probably majored in Basketball, he must have stopped by a classroom or two in his campus days and heard about the pictures of the landing areas, the robotic orbiters and rovers and the 842 pounds of moon rocks in NASA's possession.
It's never been pointed out to me just why going to the moon was ever that important, anyway. I once asked a science-y friend why it was such a big deal, and the answer came back, "We got Tang, Corning Ware, and digital technology out of it."
I would prefer that we settle down here on earth and get our problems fixed here before we go to other planets and mess them up. But at least I know our planet is round and we did go to the moon.
Steph Curry should take NASA up on the field trip they offer. That would be one small step for a man, and yadda yadda yadda.
I don't really follow basketball, but I understand it takes a lot of talent to run up and down the court for a couple of hours, throwing a ball into a hoop ten feet high. And the morning TV shows just crazy-go-nuts over this guy Steph Curry, who has an attractive wife and a cute little daughter and whom Robin Roberts and others refer to as 'Superstar Steph Curry" and who wins a lot of games and who denies we ever sent people to the moon.
Yes, he said it, like when his fellow NBA "superstar" Kyrie Irving said earth is flat. Curry said, on the "Winging It" podcast,
"We ever been to the moon?"
And several other basketballers crooned in reply, "Nope."
"They're going to come get us, I don't think so either," Curry replied. "Sorry, I don't want to start any conspiracies."
He meant he didn't want to promulgate conspiracy theories, because the people who foisted off these non-landings started the conspiracy, if there was one, which there wasn't.
Leave it to Twitter to reply. People said things like, "Don't be stupid," and "it's not cool what you're doing."
It's neither cool nor smart.
NASA, those brainy people who put people on the moon, did the best thing. They invited Curry to come over and visit and see evidence of our having been on the moon.
"We'd love for Mr. Curry to tour the lunar lab at our Johnson Space Center in Houston, perhaps the next time the Warriors are in town to play the Rockets," NASA spokesman Allard Beutel told the New York Times. "We have hundreds of pounds of moon rocks stored there, and the Apollo mission control. During his visit, he can see firsthand what we did 50 years ago, as well as what we're doing now to go back to the moon in the coming years, but this time to stay."
From all that I read and hear, Curry is a great ballplayer, a leader on and off the court, a nice person who deals with the media and with fans equably, and has the reputation of reaching out to kids and young athletes. He attended Davidson College in North Carolina, and although he probably majored in Basketball, he must have stopped by a classroom or two in his campus days and heard about the pictures of the landing areas, the robotic orbiters and rovers and the 842 pounds of moon rocks in NASA's possession.
It's never been pointed out to me just why going to the moon was ever that important, anyway. I once asked a science-y friend why it was such a big deal, and the answer came back, "We got Tang, Corning Ware, and digital technology out of it."
I would prefer that we settle down here on earth and get our problems fixed here before we go to other planets and mess them up. But at least I know our planet is round and we did go to the moon.
Steph Curry should take NASA up on the field trip they offer. That would be one small step for a man, and yadda yadda yadda.
Thursday, December 13, 2018
Namely
For those planning to add a dog to the family chow line this holiday season, here are the latest tallies of popular dog names for our town.
Baltimore's favorite dog names for 2018: Bella for females, Max for males. "Rover" is the name of a company, not a dog, and it's a consortium of pet sitters and dog walkers nationwide, and they say that 36% of dogs nowadays have names that are "decidedly human."
And that's good, because not 100% of humans have names that are decidedly human. Just ask Apple, the child of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin...Birdie and Cricket, children of Busy Philipps and Marc Silverstein...or "Bronx," child of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz.
Bronx should hang around with Todd Heap's daughter Brooklyn; they could ride the Staten Island Ferry and sip Manhattans.
Back to the names...the people at Rover say, "In the process, we uncover the big cultural moments that are inspiring us."
Some of these big cultural moments include using retro names like Minnie, Pearl, Willie, Irene, Edna and Myrtle - names associated with granny and grandpa. Such names were up 17 percent this year.
Naming a pooch "Poe" rose 25% this year in Baltimore, and names from "The Wire" such as Snoop, Bubbles, Cutty and Bunk were up even more.
You'll have to forgive me if I don't know whom your canine is named for if their name comes from the Marvel comics field, or "Guardians of the Galaxy."
The name "Drax" is up 186% all across America. I feel like I should know who Drax is. I don't. I'm sure someone will put me wise.
Anyhow, here are the top dogs, name-wise, in Bmore:
Female
Bella
Lucy
Daisy
Luna
Maggie
Male
Max
Charlie
Tucker
Cooper
Buddy
Baltimore doesn't veer off from the pack, so to speak: Bella and Max are the top names for dogs in the US.
5% of doggie dogs get named for some sort of food (Waffles, Applesauce, Muffin) and 17% carry names of alcoholic beverages (Porter, Whiskey, Bud Light.)
Over 94% of pet owners consider their pet to be a member of the family.
What's with the other 6%? They regard their pets as strangers?
Baltimore's favorite dog names for 2018: Bella for females, Max for males. "Rover" is the name of a company, not a dog, and it's a consortium of pet sitters and dog walkers nationwide, and they say that 36% of dogs nowadays have names that are "decidedly human."
And that's good, because not 100% of humans have names that are decidedly human. Just ask Apple, the child of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin...Birdie and Cricket, children of Busy Philipps and Marc Silverstein...or "Bronx," child of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz.
Bronx should hang around with Todd Heap's daughter Brooklyn; they could ride the Staten Island Ferry and sip Manhattans.
Back to the names...the people at Rover say, "In the process, we uncover the big cultural moments that are inspiring us."
Some of these big cultural moments include using retro names like Minnie, Pearl, Willie, Irene, Edna and Myrtle - names associated with granny and grandpa. Such names were up 17 percent this year.
Naming a pooch "Poe" rose 25% this year in Baltimore, and names from "The Wire" such as Snoop, Bubbles, Cutty and Bunk were up even more.
You'll have to forgive me if I don't know whom your canine is named for if their name comes from the Marvel comics field, or "Guardians of the Galaxy."
 |
| A certain percentage of people feel their dog should wear a toupee. Probably it's the same percentage of people who feel that men should as well. |
The name "Drax" is up 186% all across America. I feel like I should know who Drax is. I don't. I'm sure someone will put me wise.
Anyhow, here are the top dogs, name-wise, in Bmore:
Female
Bella
Lucy
Daisy
Luna
Maggie
Male
Max
Charlie
Tucker
Cooper
Buddy
Baltimore doesn't veer off from the pack, so to speak: Bella and Max are the top names for dogs in the US.
5% of doggie dogs get named for some sort of food (Waffles, Applesauce, Muffin) and 17% carry names of alcoholic beverages (Porter, Whiskey, Bud Light.)
Over 94% of pet owners consider their pet to be a member of the family.
What's with the other 6%? They regard their pets as strangers?
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
You Dirty Commie!
Younger readers might not have heard of the days when everyone was running around claiming that other people were Communists. It got to be such a thing that Congress wasted many valuable hours having sham trials and investigations of "suspected Communists," led by insane Senator Joseph McCarthy (R, Wisconsinsane.)
This whole thing had its genesis after World War II, when the hot war was replaced with a cold war and we fretted about whether Russia would turn to a Socialist form of government. The answer became fairly obvious when someone noticed that, since 1922, 8,649,500 sq mi of Eurasia had been known as the Union of Socialist Soviet Republics. But just because Russia had "gone communist" didn't mean that some county councilman in Baking Powder, West Virginia had done the same.
But just as people attract audiences (and their money) by claiming that no one died in a schoolhouse massacre in Connecticut, McCarthy and others made hay off their claims, and also ruined many lives, such as those of people who were accused of being communists and were thereafter not able to find work in their fields any longer. Friendships were lost when accused people sold out former friends in order to get off the McCarthy list of dirty red rats. It was awful.
But as with almost anything awful, there was a macabre humor to aspects of communist-fearing. Why, they even mentioned Lucille Ball as being a supporter of communist causes, and the "I Love Lucy" star was defended by her husband, Desi Arnaz, who said, "The only thing red about Lucy is her hair - and that's not even real anyway!"
The Cincinnati Reds, the oldest baseball team in the big leagues, changed their name to the Redlegs for several years.
But the funniest one to me was what happened to the Decatur Commodores, a minor league team in Decatur, Illinois. Formed in 1900, the Commodores also were known to fans, broadcasters, and the people who tried to squeeze "COMMODORES" into newspaper headlines, as the"Commies."
Whoops.
The Commodores (not the ones with Lionel Richie) played in Decatur, Illinois, a city named for Commodore Stephen Decatur, who, as any Marylander knows, was born nowhere near Illinois in Worcester County, Maryland. During the Red Scare years, as they were a farm team of the New York Giants (and wore their old hand-me-down uniforms) the Commies were known as the Commodore Giants.
So maybe being a "Commie" is not the worst thing a person could be!
This whole thing had its genesis after World War II, when the hot war was replaced with a cold war and we fretted about whether Russia would turn to a Socialist form of government. The answer became fairly obvious when someone noticed that, since 1922, 8,649,500 sq mi of Eurasia had been known as the Union of Socialist Soviet Republics. But just because Russia had "gone communist" didn't mean that some county councilman in Baking Powder, West Virginia had done the same.
But just as people attract audiences (and their money) by claiming that no one died in a schoolhouse massacre in Connecticut, McCarthy and others made hay off their claims, and also ruined many lives, such as those of people who were accused of being communists and were thereafter not able to find work in their fields any longer. Friendships were lost when accused people sold out former friends in order to get off the McCarthy list of dirty red rats. It was awful.
But as with almost anything awful, there was a macabre humor to aspects of communist-fearing. Why, they even mentioned Lucille Ball as being a supporter of communist causes, and the "I Love Lucy" star was defended by her husband, Desi Arnaz, who said, "The only thing red about Lucy is her hair - and that's not even real anyway!"
The Cincinnati Reds, the oldest baseball team in the big leagues, changed their name to the Redlegs for several years.
But the funniest one to me was what happened to the Decatur Commodores, a minor league team in Decatur, Illinois. Formed in 1900, the Commodores also were known to fans, broadcasters, and the people who tried to squeeze "COMMODORES" into newspaper headlines, as the"Commies."
Whoops.
 |
| The Commies 1928 home white jersey |
The Commodores (not the ones with Lionel Richie) played in Decatur, Illinois, a city named for Commodore Stephen Decatur, who, as any Marylander knows, was born nowhere near Illinois in Worcester County, Maryland. During the Red Scare years, as they were a farm team of the New York Giants (and wore their old hand-me-down uniforms) the Commies were known as the Commodore Giants.
So maybe being a "Commie" is not the worst thing a person could be!
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
Top TV hosts
My mom lived for her final six years at one of those big senior living buildings. Dinner was served in the formal dining area at five in the afternoon, and on the occasions that I was around when they were ladling out the chow, I noticed that no one was there right at 5 pip emma (that's the English way to say 5 PM). Being one who would always be on time for any repast (early, to tell you the truth) I wondered why people were arriving at 5:10.
The answer: " 'Judge Judy' isn't over til 5." And people weren't budging an inch until the good judge ruled on the case of someone who borrowed his wife's sister's girlfriend's floor waxer and wound up taking a shine to his wife's sister's girlfriend.
So it should come as no surprise to anyone that Judge Judy Sheindlin raked in $147 million before taxes last year, and that puts her on top of the TV totem pole for highest-paid host. She's been on TV for 23 years now, and draws 10 million pairs of eyes to her show. She made $47 million of that as salary for last year's show, and the other $100 mill for selling rights to her old shows, because really, who wouldn't want to watch a JJ rerun from 20 years ago??
I happen to have spent a lot of time in courtrooms, having worked in the courthouse, and I know that trials are usually conducted with probity and high standards, not the schoolyard insults and sneers that are Judy's stock in trade. And social workers and counselors (I worked with them, too!) will tell you that for a person in need of emotional therapy, the last thing they need is to be belittled and scorned on national TV by a balding Texan, but that's none of my business, because I don't watch Dr Phil (whose cornpone handling of issues requiring serious consultation brought him $77.5 million last year). Someone sure watches, though; he came in at #3 on the rich host list.
We jumped over Ellen De Generes, whose show I do like. She came in in second place by making $87.5 million in 2017.
In fourth place, say hi to Ryan Seacrest, who appears on "Live with Kelly and Ryan" and "American Idol" and, with one more show to his credit, will have his own channel on Comcast. He brought home $74 million.
Who came in fifth? Survey said...Steve Harvey, another guy with a lot going on. And $44 million in paychecks for all his hard work.
Judge Judy was quoted as saying this at the Forbes Women's Summit last year:
I recommend to anyone seeking greater happiness on the job that they seek first a new place to work. That will make things different.
As will having an estimated net worth of $400 million. That would make most of our lives really different!
The answer: " 'Judge Judy' isn't over til 5." And people weren't budging an inch until the good judge ruled on the case of someone who borrowed his wife's sister's girlfriend's floor waxer and wound up taking a shine to his wife's sister's girlfriend.
So it should come as no surprise to anyone that Judge Judy Sheindlin raked in $147 million before taxes last year, and that puts her on top of the TV totem pole for highest-paid host. She's been on TV for 23 years now, and draws 10 million pairs of eyes to her show. She made $47 million of that as salary for last year's show, and the other $100 mill for selling rights to her old shows, because really, who wouldn't want to watch a JJ rerun from 20 years ago??
I happen to have spent a lot of time in courtrooms, having worked in the courthouse, and I know that trials are usually conducted with probity and high standards, not the schoolyard insults and sneers that are Judy's stock in trade. And social workers and counselors (I worked with them, too!) will tell you that for a person in need of emotional therapy, the last thing they need is to be belittled and scorned on national TV by a balding Texan, but that's none of my business, because I don't watch Dr Phil (whose cornpone handling of issues requiring serious consultation brought him $77.5 million last year). Someone sure watches, though; he came in at #3 on the rich host list.
We jumped over Ellen De Generes, whose show I do like. She came in in second place by making $87.5 million in 2017.
In fourth place, say hi to Ryan Seacrest, who appears on "Live with Kelly and Ryan" and "American Idol" and, with one more show to his credit, will have his own channel on Comcast. He brought home $74 million.
Who came in fifth? Survey said...Steve Harvey, another guy with a lot going on. And $44 million in paychecks for all his hard work.
Judge Judy was quoted as saying this at the Forbes Women's Summit last year:
"Many people, as I did in the beginning, get stuck with a job they don’t really like. … If you’re not doing something that you love to do, find something that you love to do, because it will make your whole life different.”
I recommend to anyone seeking greater happiness on the job that they seek first a new place to work. That will make things different.
As will having an estimated net worth of $400 million. That would make most of our lives really different!
Monday, December 10, 2018
Everyone has things they like, and don't like
"It all depends on whose ox is being gored" is an old expression from the days when people actually had oxen and someone else came along to gore them. It dates back to Exodus in the Bible and represents payment in compensation to the rightful owner of the gored ox.
I need some of my avid Bible quoters to tell me just why people went around goring other peoples' bovines. Today, I guess a similar quotation would be "It all depends on whose Chevy Eclipse is being backed into in front of McDonalds." If that's your car, you're in for some money if you can catch the bad driver who fricaseed your fender and lumped your bumper.
I got to thinking about that old quote the other day when I saw an uproar brewing on social media about the old song, "Baby It's Cold Outside." You've heard the song - it's one of those "naughty" numbers from the World War II era, written by Frank Loesser (pronounced "lesser"), and there are those who feel, with some justification, that the song, which depicts a man plying a woman with sketchy drinks during a snowstorm in hopes she will have to spend the night, depicts an assault.
If you happen to be a person who was ever the victim of a roofie or a spiked drink and an unwanted seduction which was really date rape, you might not feel that the song is a lighthearted little duet for the holiday season. You may very well, in that situation, be repulsed by the song and not wish to hear it.
I can understand that, and it's been sad to see people getting all worked up because some radio stations, in response to complaints, have pulled the song from their holiday playlists.
I say it's sad, because the people getting all wack jack about the song and calling those who are bothered by a song glorifying sexual assault "snowflakes," the jejune term meant to demean people who have feelings.
But in many cases, those wack jackers are the same people who get their knickers in a wad over football players protesting, meaning that it's bad to protest a song, but ok to protest a protester.
Everyone has things that bother them, things they would sooner not have to hear about or see, and it says here that it would be a better world if we stepped aside to give others a little room to get by with what they're carrying around.
By the way, Frank Loesser and his wife, Lynn (above) performed the song at countless parties and recitals back in the day among the hundreds of other songs he wrote and popularized. Frank referred to himself humorously as "the evil of two Loessers."
I need some of my avid Bible quoters to tell me just why people went around goring other peoples' bovines. Today, I guess a similar quotation would be "It all depends on whose Chevy Eclipse is being backed into in front of McDonalds." If that's your car, you're in for some money if you can catch the bad driver who fricaseed your fender and lumped your bumper.
I got to thinking about that old quote the other day when I saw an uproar brewing on social media about the old song, "Baby It's Cold Outside." You've heard the song - it's one of those "naughty" numbers from the World War II era, written by Frank Loesser (pronounced "lesser"), and there are those who feel, with some justification, that the song, which depicts a man plying a woman with sketchy drinks during a snowstorm in hopes she will have to spend the night, depicts an assault.
If you happen to be a person who was ever the victim of a roofie or a spiked drink and an unwanted seduction which was really date rape, you might not feel that the song is a lighthearted little duet for the holiday season. You may very well, in that situation, be repulsed by the song and not wish to hear it.
I can understand that, and it's been sad to see people getting all worked up because some radio stations, in response to complaints, have pulled the song from their holiday playlists.
I say it's sad, because the people getting all wack jack about the song and calling those who are bothered by a song glorifying sexual assault "snowflakes," the jejune term meant to demean people who have feelings.
But in many cases, those wack jackers are the same people who get their knickers in a wad over football players protesting, meaning that it's bad to protest a song, but ok to protest a protester.
Everyone has things that bother them, things they would sooner not have to hear about or see, and it says here that it would be a better world if we stepped aside to give others a little room to get by with what they're carrying around.
By the way, Frank Loesser and his wife, Lynn (above) performed the song at countless parties and recitals back in the day among the hundreds of other songs he wrote and popularized. Frank referred to himself humorously as "the evil of two Loessers."
Sunday, December 9, 2018
Sunday Rerun: Somebody's watching me!
I always think these things I read about are on satire sites, but the way you can tell is, when they have detailed schematic drawings of the robots that will soon control us all the plans for new technology, and the article is written without a sense of irony or humor, then it's "emmis" - the Yiddish word for truth.
So, believe it or not, you might want to take a change of shoes to troop through the Magic Mouse Kingdom in the Happiest Place On All The Earth. Disney is developing a system that will take pictures of your shoes when you stroll through the front gate. And then, special Mousecomputers will obtain your name and hometown, and favorite Disney character, food, and ride.
And then robots will be garnering more info as you parade around the acreage, stuff like how long you wait in line, where you go in the park, and they say they will take this intel and customize your visit by matching it up with your interests.
This is the future: while you are visiting an amusement park, robots know where you are and what you're doing.
They use facial recognition technology now, you know, and I just have this terrible fear of a guy in a polyester uniform, seated in a dark control room before a giant bank of video monitors, suddenly pausing and zooming in on an image of me giving the stankeye to one of his robots, and then having me rounded up and brought to his Goofy Gulag underneath Tinkerbell's Beef 'n' Beer.
Gone are the days when we could just be anonymous, but I don't like being followed just because of my footwear.
Tracking you every step of the way!
Although, there was a day when I came home from a long day at work and kicked off my kicks in the garage, only to notice that I had worn a left Reebok and a right New Balance.
That'll mix Mickey up!
So, believe it or not, you might want to take a change of shoes to troop through the Magic Mouse Kingdom in the Happiest Place On All The Earth. Disney is developing a system that will take pictures of your shoes when you stroll through the front gate. And then, special Mousecomputers will obtain your name and hometown, and favorite Disney character, food, and ride.
And then robots will be garnering more info as you parade around the acreage, stuff like how long you wait in line, where you go in the park, and they say they will take this intel and customize your visit by matching it up with your interests.
This is the future: while you are visiting an amusement park, robots know where you are and what you're doing.
They use facial recognition technology now, you know, and I just have this terrible fear of a guy in a polyester uniform, seated in a dark control room before a giant bank of video monitors, suddenly pausing and zooming in on an image of me giving the stankeye to one of his robots, and then having me rounded up and brought to his Goofy Gulag underneath Tinkerbell's Beef 'n' Beer.
Gone are the days when we could just be anonymous, but I don't like being followed just because of my footwear.
Tracking you every step of the way!
Although, there was a day when I came home from a long day at work and kicked off my kicks in the garage, only to notice that I had worn a left Reebok and a right New Balance.
That'll mix Mickey up!
Saturday, December 8, 2018
The Saturday Picture Show, December 8, 2018
Friday, December 7, 2018
The new Bananarama
We all know the "I can't hear you, there's a banana in my ear" joke, but have you heard about the bananas that bring a message to kids?
It happens at Kingston Elementary in Virginia Beach, VA, where Stacey Truman is the cafeteria manager. Every morning, she takes a Sharpie and writes some wise words on 60 or so bananas for the kids who will descend on the cafeteria at lunchtime.
“Not all those who wander are lost.” "If you can dream it, you can achieve it." “You get what you give.” “Never give up.”
It's messages like this that make a difference for a youngster, if you ask me. Every day, Ms Truman fills several trays with wisdom-bearing fruit. As the article in the Washington POST said, it's a lunch choice offering both positivity and potassium.
It all started when Ms Truman packed lunches for her own kids, Mackenzie and Kayleigh. She figured that her daughters got a lift out of reading bananagrams, and maybe the Kingston Kids would as well.
“I want them to succeed in life and have an awesome day at school," she said. "Whenever I can put a smile on all of those little faces, I’ve done my job.”
There are 540 students at Kingston, and only about 10 percent of them plop a banana on their tray on any given day, but even those who skip the yellow fruit option see the messages, says principal Sharon Shewbridge.
“She’s helped the kids to make healthier choices,” said Shewbridge. “But it’s more than that. Stacey genuinely cares and wants them to know they are loved. What I especially appreciate is that she does this without being directed or asked.”
Truman says she got the idea of fruit-borne messages in the days when she was working nights as a waitress to bring in extra money for the family. She didn't always get to see her girls in the morning - her husband gets them up and off to school after Mom leaves for work - so she tried to make up for the time she missed with them by writing messages.
"My girls sacrificed because I only saw them on the weekend, other than when I'd sneak in while they were sleeping to kiss them on the forehead," she said. "When I was getting their lunches ready the night before, I started writing little notes on their bananas to let them know I was thinking of them and wished I could be there."
Ms Truman's parents divorced when she was young, and she knows the importance of supportive encouragement. "Writing on a banana is such a simple thing, but it has an impact,” she says.
The good people over at Dole Fruit saw pictures of Truman's messages on Twitter, and sent over a banana for each student one day last month. On that day, she got the PTA and some friends to help her fill out each banana: "otherwise, I'd have still been writing when school let out."
One of her favorite expressions is “Shoot for the moon — if you miss, you’ll end up with the stars.”
I think she's up there already! What a great idea!
It happens at Kingston Elementary in Virginia Beach, VA, where Stacey Truman is the cafeteria manager. Every morning, she takes a Sharpie and writes some wise words on 60 or so bananas for the kids who will descend on the cafeteria at lunchtime.
“Not all those who wander are lost.” "If you can dream it, you can achieve it." “You get what you give.” “Never give up.”
It's messages like this that make a difference for a youngster, if you ask me. Every day, Ms Truman fills several trays with wisdom-bearing fruit. As the article in the Washington POST said, it's a lunch choice offering both positivity and potassium.
It all started when Ms Truman packed lunches for her own kids, Mackenzie and Kayleigh. She figured that her daughters got a lift out of reading bananagrams, and maybe the Kingston Kids would as well.
“I want them to succeed in life and have an awesome day at school," she said. "Whenever I can put a smile on all of those little faces, I’ve done my job.”
There are 540 students at Kingston, and only about 10 percent of them plop a banana on their tray on any given day, but even those who skip the yellow fruit option see the messages, says principal Sharon Shewbridge.
“She’s helped the kids to make healthier choices,” said Shewbridge. “But it’s more than that. Stacey genuinely cares and wants them to know they are loved. What I especially appreciate is that she does this without being directed or asked.”
Truman says she got the idea of fruit-borne messages in the days when she was working nights as a waitress to bring in extra money for the family. She didn't always get to see her girls in the morning - her husband gets them up and off to school after Mom leaves for work - so she tried to make up for the time she missed with them by writing messages.
"My girls sacrificed because I only saw them on the weekend, other than when I'd sneak in while they were sleeping to kiss them on the forehead," she said. "When I was getting their lunches ready the night before, I started writing little notes on their bananas to let them know I was thinking of them and wished I could be there."
Ms Truman's parents divorced when she was young, and she knows the importance of supportive encouragement. "Writing on a banana is such a simple thing, but it has an impact,” she says.
One of her favorite expressions is “Shoot for the moon — if you miss, you’ll end up with the stars.”
I think she's up there already! What a great idea!
Thursday, December 6, 2018
Easy as 1-2-3
There is no sweeter sound to us than the sound of our own name.
Therefore, there is nothing worse to do in front of a person than to mock them for their name.
Abcde (pronounced AB-sity) Redford is five years old, and that's far too young to have to learn how nasty older people - people older than, say, five - can be.
She was with her mother last week at the John Wayne Airport in Orange County, California, when her mom, Traci, heard a gate agent goofing on Abcde's name. The two were getting ready to fly back to El Paso when they heard the name critics having at it.
"The gate agent started mocking my child’s name, laughing, pointing at me and my daughter, and talking to other employees," Redford told KABC. "So I turned around and just said ‘Hey, I can hear you. If i can hear you, my daughter can too. I’d appreciate it if you’d just stop.'”
Not content with ragging on a little girl in public, the Southwest agent took a picture of Abcde's boarding pass, and, of course, put it right out there on social media.
Southwest Airlines says they have "followed up" with the employee involved, but they're not about to say just what was done in the wrist-slapping.
"We extend our sincere apology to the family," said the airline. "We take great pride in extending our Southwest Hospitality to all of our customers, which includes living by the Golden Rule and treating every individual with respect, in person or online."
Someone took the time to look on the the Social Security Administration website, and it turns out that "Abcde" is not ranked in the list of 1,000 most popular names for any year since 2000.
But someone else took the time and found there are 333 people in the United States named "Abcde," and there is only corporation named "Southwest Airlines," so there you have it.
Therefore, there is nothing worse to do in front of a person than to mock them for their name.
Abcde (pronounced AB-sity) Redford is five years old, and that's far too young to have to learn how nasty older people - people older than, say, five - can be.
She was with her mother last week at the John Wayne Airport in Orange County, California, when her mom, Traci, heard a gate agent goofing on Abcde's name. The two were getting ready to fly back to El Paso when they heard the name critics having at it.
"The gate agent started mocking my child’s name, laughing, pointing at me and my daughter, and talking to other employees," Redford told KABC. "So I turned around and just said ‘Hey, I can hear you. If i can hear you, my daughter can too. I’d appreciate it if you’d just stop.'”
Not content with ragging on a little girl in public, the Southwest agent took a picture of Abcde's boarding pass, and, of course, put it right out there on social media.
Southwest Airlines says they have "followed up" with the employee involved, but they're not about to say just what was done in the wrist-slapping.
"We extend our sincere apology to the family," said the airline. "We take great pride in extending our Southwest Hospitality to all of our customers, which includes living by the Golden Rule and treating every individual with respect, in person or online."
Someone took the time to look on the the Social Security Administration website, and it turns out that "Abcde" is not ranked in the list of 1,000 most popular names for any year since 2000.
But someone else took the time and found there are 333 people in the United States named "Abcde," and there is only corporation named "Southwest Airlines," so there you have it.
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
Down on their heels
Do you understand the appeal of paying more for something, far more than you know very well it's worth? Does that make you feel good? I don't get it, any more than I get paying a lot of money to wear "designer" clothing with some clothing company's name on it, so that you become a walking billboard, parading around with LEVI'S on your chest or a Kenneth Cole Slaw logo on your whatever.
Marketing studies have shown time and again that if a product is placed out for sale and the price is low, people tend to think it's not worth it...so if the price goes up, they will line up to buy it.
Here's the proof: You've seen a Payless store if you've even been in a mall anywhere on this planet. It's not far from Auntie Anne's Pretzels, Candles And Things, and that place where they sell beds with a "sleep number."
Payless has a lot of stores. They had a lot more before they filed for bankruptcy in 2017 and permanently pulled the door down on almost 700 stores, but they still have about 2,750 stores in North America and 3,500 all around the world.
I guess it's a sign that things are going better for them, because they recently found time to play an elaborate practical joke.
First of all, there is such a thing in this world as being an "influencer." These are the people who wake up one day and decide to wear their underwear OVER their clothes, or use a Hefty trash bag as a rain poncho, and make sure someone takes a picture of them doing so. Next thing you know, people all over are following the lead of their "influencers."
So Payless found an Armani store that closed up (lack of business) and invited a group of these "influencers" to the grand opening of a "high-end" (meaning low value for high prices) designer shoe emporium. They called it "Palessi." Like Payless, but it sounds Italian, ya know?
And the gag was, all they sold was regular Payless merchandise, same as you can get when you go the mall and pass by Florist Gump, Bread Pitt, and the Asian Food Court: Pho King Tasty, Wok This Way, and Thai Me Up to get to the shoe store.
And of course, instead of the usual $20 - $40 price, people were breaking their necks to shell out $200 to $600 for boots, hi heels, flats, pumps, and sneakers.
Palessi raked in $3000 in the first hour. One shopper with a whole lot more money than sense spent $640 for a pair of boots marked up 1800%.
Within the first few hours of the grand opening, “Palessi” made about $3,000. One overexcited shopper dropped $640 on a pair of boots at an 1,800% markup.
Sarah Couch is the Chief Marketing Officer for Payless, and she told AdWeek magazine, “The campaign plays off of the enormous discrepancy and aims to remind consumers we are still a relevant place to shop for affordable fashion."
As it turned out, 80 "influencers" showed up for the shindig, and were told about the ruse, and got to keep their shoes AND got their money back.
The day I pay 640 simoleons for a pair of boots will be a frosty day in August, but I would consider shelling out a dollar for peanuts.
Marketing studies have shown time and again that if a product is placed out for sale and the price is low, people tend to think it's not worth it...so if the price goes up, they will line up to buy it.
Here's the proof: You've seen a Payless store if you've even been in a mall anywhere on this planet. It's not far from Auntie Anne's Pretzels, Candles And Things, and that place where they sell beds with a "sleep number."
Payless has a lot of stores. They had a lot more before they filed for bankruptcy in 2017 and permanently pulled the door down on almost 700 stores, but they still have about 2,750 stores in North America and 3,500 all around the world.
I guess it's a sign that things are going better for them, because they recently found time to play an elaborate practical joke.
First of all, there is such a thing in this world as being an "influencer." These are the people who wake up one day and decide to wear their underwear OVER their clothes, or use a Hefty trash bag as a rain poncho, and make sure someone takes a picture of them doing so. Next thing you know, people all over are following the lead of their "influencers."
So Payless found an Armani store that closed up (lack of business) and invited a group of these "influencers" to the grand opening of a "high-end" (meaning low value for high prices) designer shoe emporium. They called it "Palessi." Like Payless, but it sounds Italian, ya know?
And the gag was, all they sold was regular Payless merchandise, same as you can get when you go the mall and pass by Florist Gump, Bread Pitt, and the Asian Food Court: Pho King Tasty, Wok This Way, and Thai Me Up to get to the shoe store.
And of course, instead of the usual $20 - $40 price, people were breaking their necks to shell out $200 to $600 for boots, hi heels, flats, pumps, and sneakers.
Palessi raked in $3000 in the first hour. One shopper with a whole lot more money than sense spent $640 for a pair of boots marked up 1800%.
Within the first few hours of the grand opening, “Palessi” made about $3,000. One overexcited shopper dropped $640 on a pair of boots at an 1,800% markup.
Sarah Couch is the Chief Marketing Officer for Payless, and she told AdWeek magazine, “The campaign plays off of the enormous discrepancy and aims to remind consumers we are still a relevant place to shop for affordable fashion."
As it turned out, 80 "influencers" showed up for the shindig, and were told about the ruse, and got to keep their shoes AND got their money back.
The day I pay 640 simoleons for a pair of boots will be a frosty day in August, but I would consider shelling out a dollar for peanuts.
Anyway, I guess this says a lot about us as a nation, but I'm not sure it's something we want to hear about us.
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
2018 kid names
For the benefit of all of you planning to have babies soon (and for those of you NOT planning any such thing), here they are: the most popular baby names for the year. Jackson has been #1 for naming boys for the last 6 years, and Olivia has reigned at the top of girl names for nine years running. Well, not running. Babies don't run; the best you can get out of them is a crawl.
I notice that the Heather-Jessica-Nicole era for girls and the Justin-Josh-Jason days for boys are over for now, and also the craze for giving children names that have to do with vocations or avocations - Hunter, Fisher, Rider, Walker. I don't recall that it ever got to where kids were named Jogger, although Waylon Jennings had a son named Shooter.
And once again, I bemoan the lack of little boys named Elvis, Ralph, Earl, or Leon. And whatever happened to little girls named Trixie, Cookie, and Harriet?
They grew up and married Ralph, Earl, and Leon.
Herewith, the Top Tens:
BOYS GIRLS
1. Jackson 1. Sophia
2. Liam 2. Olivia
3. Noah 3. Emma
4. Aiden 4. Ava
5. Caden 5. Isabella
6. Grayson 6. Aria
7. Lucas 7. Riley
8. Mason 8. Amelia
9. Oliver 9. Mia
10. Elijah 10. Layla
I notice that the Heather-Jessica-Nicole era for girls and the Justin-Josh-Jason days for boys are over for now, and also the craze for giving children names that have to do with vocations or avocations - Hunter, Fisher, Rider, Walker. I don't recall that it ever got to where kids were named Jogger, although Waylon Jennings had a son named Shooter.
And once again, I bemoan the lack of little boys named Elvis, Ralph, Earl, or Leon. And whatever happened to little girls named Trixie, Cookie, and Harriet?
They grew up and married Ralph, Earl, and Leon.
Herewith, the Top Tens:
BOYS GIRLS
1. Jackson 1. Sophia
2. Liam 2. Olivia
3. Noah 3. Emma
4. Aiden 4. Ava
5. Caden 5. Isabella
6. Grayson 6. Aria
7. Lucas 7. Riley
8. Mason 8. Amelia
9. Oliver 9. Mia
10. Elijah 10. Layla
Monday, December 3, 2018
Do us part
Beatles fans will recall the name of the band that Ringo Starr played in before getting on with the Fab Four...Rory Storm And The Hurricanes.
Rory Storm! And the Hurricanes! The guy's name always cracked me up as a kid, and it was interesting to hear Ringo telling Howard Stern the other day about his days with that band.
Rory's real name was Alan Ernest Caldwell, and his band floundered after Ringo swam away. When Howard asked Ringo where Rory is now, the answer came back, "Dead." And a little research shows me that he died in 1972, and at the time Ringo was asked why he didn't come to the funeral for his old mate.
"I wasn't there when he was born, either," came his reply.
Maybe it's just the way I roll, but I don't mind showing up at funerals and viewings to pay respects to the departed and to console the family. When friends and kin came to our side when my parents and several friends died, it was more of a blessing than they probably knew, to have someone stop by with a handshake or a hug and some comforting words. Or a joke or a story, whatever, it helps.
On the other hand, it's kind of a sting when you lose someone dear and people don't acknowledge it. Yes, I know that going to funeral homes is rough for a lot of people, and some people just have terrible associations with the whole process, but I would urge one and all to try to put those feelings aside for half an hour, and just be there for your friend.
The great sage Yogi Berra taught us, "Always go to other people's funerals, or else they won't come to yours." That's a little levity for a serious topic, but please keep it in mind. There is no "fun" in funeral, but there is love in a simple gesture such as supporting others.
Rory Storm! And the Hurricanes! The guy's name always cracked me up as a kid, and it was interesting to hear Ringo telling Howard Stern the other day about his days with that band.
 |
| Rory (l) and Ringo |
Rory's real name was Alan Ernest Caldwell, and his band floundered after Ringo swam away. When Howard asked Ringo where Rory is now, the answer came back, "Dead." And a little research shows me that he died in 1972, and at the time Ringo was asked why he didn't come to the funeral for his old mate.
"I wasn't there when he was born, either," came his reply.
Maybe it's just the way I roll, but I don't mind showing up at funerals and viewings to pay respects to the departed and to console the family. When friends and kin came to our side when my parents and several friends died, it was more of a blessing than they probably knew, to have someone stop by with a handshake or a hug and some comforting words. Or a joke or a story, whatever, it helps.
On the other hand, it's kind of a sting when you lose someone dear and people don't acknowledge it. Yes, I know that going to funeral homes is rough for a lot of people, and some people just have terrible associations with the whole process, but I would urge one and all to try to put those feelings aside for half an hour, and just be there for your friend.
The great sage Yogi Berra taught us, "Always go to other people's funerals, or else they won't come to yours." That's a little levity for a serious topic, but please keep it in mind. There is no "fun" in funeral, but there is love in a simple gesture such as supporting others.
Sunday, December 2, 2018
Sunday Rerun: Dave's Not Here
So Dave retires and I tried the others. Gave them all plenty of chances to amuse me. And none did.
Stephen Colbert took over the late night slot on CBS. He lost me years ago when he started calling himself ColeBEAR instead of COLEburt on the grounds that he was playing a character. Uh huh. I watched and watched, and nothing he did struck me funny...even when he raised one eyebrow like that The Rock guy.
I revered ABC's Jimmy Kimmel when he was cohost, along with the lots-less-funny Adam Corolla, of The Man Show, which gave the world the exposure it needed to William Wallace Foster - the beloved "Fox," as well as hundreds of other amusing bits, most of them off-color, but some of them on. Doggone if Jimmy didn't go over to the other side - the "It was so cold out there today I saw an ear of corn wearing an alpaca sweater, I wanna tell ya..." school of humor. And instead of sending The Man Show Boy out on stories, Jimmy now gives us his cousin Sal. I know there are other shows - Conan O'Brien, Trevor Noah, James Corden, Seth Meyers, Carson Daly, Tavis Smiley, Larry Wilmore. Any day now, the GEICO Gecko will have his own couch and desk and start interviewing Colin Farrell and Demi Lovato, "with musical guests Macklemore and Ryan Lewis."
Saturday, December 1, 2018
The Saturday Picture Show, December 1, 2018
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