Sunsay Rerun: Money talks, and says goodbye for five months

 Because my father was in the Navy in World War II, serving aboard the USS Delta, he was served Spam (the meat byproduct, not the fake email) as often as three meals a day. One result of this was his lifelong disdain for fatty canned meat foods, so we never once had it for any meal around the house when I was supposed to be growing up.

Not that I am any kind of gourmet, but I never eat circus peanuts (or their bastard cousin candy corn), cilantro, beets, bologna, baloney, hummus, anything that looks like hummus, and anything pumpkin spiced.

And Hot Pockets! Never had one. If I want a calzone, there are plenty of sub shops around to find a good calzone, so why get some frozen substitute?

And don't even mention that they have a Hot Pockets Breakfast fruit pastry.

I am glad to be no fan of the Hot Pocket, now that Michelle Janavs, the daughter of the co-founder of the brand, owned up to being one of those helicopter moms who paid big money to have their unqualified children get into college.  In her case, she reached into her hot pocket and pulled out $200,000 to have her daughter get into the University of Southern California.  It's all part of that “Varsity Blues” uni admissions scandal. Last week, she was sent to the Ironbar Hilton for five months.

Wondering if they serve Hot Pockets in prison

For the record, here's the apology she uttered: “I am so very sorry that I tried to create an unfair advantage for my children,” Janavs said, telling U.S. District Judge Nathaniel Gorton that she decided to lie and cheat because she loves her children so doggone much.

Gorton pointed out that the “vast majority of parents do not brazenly try to push their kids in the side door…They don’t love their children any less than you do. They just play by the rules of common decency and fair play.”

Janavs also thought it a good idea to shell out $100,000 for an ACT proctor who corrected her daughters' exam before turning them in to be graded.

Sing along with Hall and Oates: "You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far."  America's too-wealthy class never lets me down.

The Saturday Picture Show, May 3, 2026

Pretty! Colored raindrops on the sunroof window!

There used to be a website called antipodes map. You put in your address, and it told you where you would wind up if you started drilling and went all the way through to the other side of Earth. Offer not valid for anyone who thinks the world is flat. Their exact oppo is Omaha.

Swallows made themselves a little nest up by the ceiling.

Baltimore crabhouse window art!

Pretty sure the last time I bought Pop-Tarts, Lindbergh was on his way to Paris. But people are saying they're getting skimpy on the gooey smear of icing on top. Cover photo for comparison.

There may be worse Mother's Day gifts than cleaning products for dear old Ma, but you'd have to go to that store in the mall that sells glittery t-shirts and whoopie cushions to find any. She wants a book, some bath salts, and a little peace and quiet. You're welcome.

Look what's back! It's Endless Shrimp at (the few remaining) Red Lobsters, including a new dish for this year improbably called Marry Me Shrimp. I cannot advise marrying any form of marine life. Shrimp have limited ap-peal.

And speaking of advice, I keep reading how much better life would be for all of use if we would only eat about 85 beets per week. Never gonna happen for me.

There are two gray hosses in today's Kentucky Derby, although this one is named Great White and is not really all that gray. I've always wanted to see a gray horse win the Run For The Roses!

 If I ever become a judge (highly unlikely!) I will incarcerate people who cut, tear, deface, disfigure, or destroy library property, for much more than two months. Their children's children will have to visit them on Sundays.  And people who talk out loud in libraries will face the swift sword of justice as well. This is a library, son, not one of your swing joints.