Friday, June 9, 2023

Can Singleton

Before we go any further,  I need to point out that being married or even hooked up is not necessarily for everybody. People are free to choose the single lifestyle as they wish.  And there are many married people who wish their spouses, current and ex-, had availed themselves of the opportunity to remain unchained.

Apparently, though, it's a big deal in Denmark turn 25 years of age and not be married, and as common sense dictates, the only fitting thing for the family to do is to take you out and dust you in cinnamon like a raisin bagel.


I guess I shouldn't say "dust," because the friends and families of the single 25-ers make sure to cover their singletons from head to toe, and then they spray on water so the cinnamon can find purchase on your epidermis.

It could be worse! They could douse you in melted butter while forcing you to watch a Rob Schneider movie marathon....



According to a Danish folklorist, this goes back many many years, when spice salesmen roamed the world and never spent two nights in a row in the same place. They tended to remain bachelors just because they were too busy selling Cardamom in Calcutta and Turmeric in Turkey, so they didn't really have thyme to settle down.

A man who reached 30 and only knew how to cook for one was called a "Pebersvend," meaning "Pepper Dude." A single woman gets called a "Pebermø," or "pepper maiden..." because on one's 30th birthday, they swap out the cinnamon and use pepper. And sometimes they mix the pepper with a beaten egg.

Even with the threat of assault by spice (also known as "Getting McCormicked") the average age of men walking the aisle in Denmark is 34 and a half. It's 32 for women.

The great Danes, those funlovers, say this is not a punishment, just a game among friends and family.

I guess you'd have to be Danish to get it.

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