John Carreyrou wrote a book called "Bad Blood," which is about the chicanery that Elizabeth Holmes pulled off to get people to invest in her Theranos company. With Theranos, Holmes promised she had developed a machine called Edison that would perform "immunoassays" to look for antibodies or antigens in blood or fluid. Armed with this information, a patient and his or her doctor would then be able to plan for long healthy lives.
You know what else is long? Eleven years in prison is a long time, and that is where swindler Holmes finds herself today, at the slam in Bryan, Texas, because she was convicted on four fraud-related counts for duping people into investing in her magic testing box.
You know what else? There is a copy of "Bad Blood" in the prison library at Bryan, so Holmes can check it out if she wishes.
She just can't check out of prison.
What she can, yea, must do, every day is haul her lanky shanks out of bed at 0600 and make her own bed, mop her floor, and take out her trash. Or there will be more trouble.
No longer the darling blue-eyed blonde with a gargly voice, Holmes will be working at some occupation in the Ironbar Hilton for a salary ranging from $0.12 to $0.40 an hour.
No more black turtlenecks and red lipstick either. She will be sporting a fashionable prison uniform for the next few years, one of 650 fellow white-collar criminals.
She recently went on a media blitz, trying to convince the world that she did not deserve to be imprisoned and should stay home with her two children and her partner because she is like totally sorry for cheating people out of their money and lying and all that.
As a nation, we maintain prisons for two reasons: to punish bad people and to set an example for others who might be inclined to pull off billion-dollar hoaxes. Once they see Holmes in there scrubbing pans and just absolutely massacring her manicure, well, they will think twice.
That's the plan.
1 comment:
The Ironbar Hilton - lol
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