It's free

Supreme Court Associate Justice "Slammin'" Sammy Alito, seen below demonstrating that the Court is not supposed to support any political party or candidate, once took a trip to a resort, being flown on a private plane while the costs of the visit to the Alaskan fishing resort were paid by a Republican bigshot.

The man who paid for the ride then had business decisions in front of the Supreme Court at least 10 times in the ensuing years.

Alito forgot to mention this generosity when he filed his financial disclosures, nor did he step away from any of the decisions involving his buddy boy, one Paul Singer. He said he had "no obligation to recuse in any of the cases" because he and the guy did not discuss "business activities or any cases before the court" because (get this!) he had no idea any of the cases in which he ruled had anything to do with the man who treated him to luxury vacays.

That's a lot of tuna sandwiches, boys.

Ask any divorce attorney if "I swear, I thought that was my wife" is a credible defense.  You know it isn't, but ask. Lawyers need laughter too.

But here is my favorite part:  Alito claims his flight was "not consequential" because that seat upon which he plopped his Yale-educated posterior "would have otherwise been vacant" and therefore his friend didn't really spend a penny on him.

Good to know!

Because the whole thing with the Supremes is that they depend on "precedents:" earlier decisions that provide guidelines for present cases.

So, the next time you want to, say, jet over to France for the Cannes Film Festival, just hang around the airport and peep out empty seats, and just before takeoff, plop your non-Yale-educated rump into whatever is unoccupied and say, "Sam sent me." 

Hungry? Head on down to Chris's Ruth Steakhouse and wait for a nice tenderloin that they were going to throw away anyway. That's your supper! Pass the A-1.

And of course, a night at the hotel of your choice is on the house too, if you wait until everyone else who is going to has checked in. Any unused room is all yours, thanks to the Alito Doctrine.

Don't forget to leave a nice tip.