Don't Heckle the Magpies

It happens here, too, England, so don't feel like you're all alone here. American fans are often victims of premature etattoolation, and it's always embarrassing.

English soccer fan Kris Cook follows the Newcastle United team, so he thought that the time was right to get a four-inch tattoo to salute his squad's victory in the Carabao Cup.

And that would have been great, except that the Newcs lost 2-0 to Manchester United.  

Two goals in a soccer game is the ultimate, one supposes, for a game where people can spend hours aimlessly kicking a ball around.

 

His team is called the Magpies. He doesn't regret rooting for them, or getting the leg tattoo too early. His family does not think much of the ink, but his friends find it hilarious.

Newcastle was trying to end a championship drought that dates back to 1969. That was the year I was graduated from high school, and now I'm celebrating graduation from physical therapy for the 37th time, so...

Kris Cook is from the most English-named town I've seen in some time:  Cramlington, Northumberland. He says, "I was going in for a day session at the tattoo place anyway to get a sleeve done and then decided last minute to get the Newcastle tattoo on my leg too."

"It was all for a laugh and I had mentioned to my mates that I might get it done, but they were shocked when I went through with it."

"One of them said,'(blasphemy deleted) what have you had done'."

"It took about 10 minutes to do and was thrown in with the £400 (that's $495.75 American) cost of booking the tattooist out for the day to have my arm sleeve done. The tattoo says, 'tell me ma me ma' which is a NUFC chant from the 90s and one we sing at St James' Park. I don't regret getting it done at all. I might when I'm older but for now, I just think it's funny."

So he is cool with the tat, but his grandma does not like it, or to quote him directly, "My eight-year-old daughter Honey thinks it's funny and my mum is not fussed but my gran hates it."

"She has always been anti-tattoos and I am covered in them. I think the Newcastle United one was just a step too far for her."

"The girl who does my tattoos is from Sunderland so she probably enjoyed it that little bit more."

I think we're all aware of the legendary Sunderland/Newcastle enmity.

Anyway, Kris and his friends made the 280-mile trip to see the game, but, "I can't remember much of the match if I'm honest as me and my friends had been drinking all day and celebrating so the initial defeat didn't hit me. I am disappointed that we didn't win but I am so proud of the team for getting to Wembley and we will be back. Give Newcastle a few years and we will start winning lots of things. I am still very proud of my team despite the outcome."

Trade "New York" for "Newcastle" and this is the most American English story ever!