The Obit Bit

Yogi Berra once said, "You should always go to other people's funerals, or else they won't come to yours."

The great Yankee sage might have also pointed out that it's better to be nice to your children, since they are the ones who will write your obituary. Most people know that already, but it does not appear that Lawrence Pfaff, Sr. did.

Old Pfaff lived to be 81 but it doesn't look like he did very well being a father. He passed away recently, and his son, Lawrence, Jr. was able to publish the obit he had worked on for the past year or so.

It was published in The Florida Times-Union, and says that Pfaff père was “narcissistic” and an “abusive alcoholic.” Pfaff fils wraps up by saying that the death proves that “evil does eventually die.”

From the obituary:

[Pfaff] is survived by his three children, no four. Oops, five children. Well as of 2022 we believe there is one more that we know about, but there could be more. His love was abundant when it came to himself, but for his children it was limited. From a young age, he was a ladies’ man and an abusive alcoholic, solidifying his commitment to both with the path of destruction he left behind, damaging his adult children, and leaving them broken.

Pfaff spent more than 20 years working for the New York Police Department, it goes on to say, but “because of his alcohol addiction, his Commanding Officer took away his gun and badge, replacing them with a broom until he could get his act together.”

Huffington Post asked the NYPD if the old man ever did get his act together, but received no reply.

Detailing the horror of the old man's days, the younger Pfaff Jr., 58, says his father’s “hobbies” included “abusing his first wife,” and that he “possessed no redeeming qualities for his children, including the ones he knew, and the ‘ones he knew about.’”

Pfaff, Jr. 

It's no exaggeration to say Jr. felt his old man was a first-rate bounder. He said his father walked out on the family when Jr was 9, only to repeat the trend with several other women and their abandoned kids.

It has taken DNA research for Pfaff, Jr. to connect with his brothers and sisters.

In preparation, Pfaff Jr. started writing the obit a year ago, before his father departed this mortal coil, as “a way for me to really cleanse myself and let that part of my life go.”

The Times-Union contacted a sister, Carolyn Compton, who  “grew up in the same household and confirmed Pfaff’s account of their father.”

It's not surprised that Lawrence Jr. has heard from people who appreciated his honesty about the old man.

“I got a call from somebody in St. Augustine that found me and wanted to thank me for posting that because, you know, they had a similar life, and they wanted to be able to do something similar to help heal,” he said. “They just thanked me for, you know, the honesty.”

 I'm sure this has gone a long way to helping the younger Pfaff get over his childhood, so tormented as it was. But he needn't worry about this part: wherever his "dad" is right now, the people in charge know all about this.