Holey Hell

Here's the kind of story we all like to see: one of those little-man-fighting-the-mighty-corporation tales....

The man here (I have no idea about his size) is one Kent Slaughter. Over the course of ten years, he bought about twelve pairs of socks from Bass Pro Shops.

These were not just any old cheapo socks, you understand. These were RedHead Lifetime Guarantee All-Purpose Wool Socks and up until now, they meant it.

Which is to say, every time Slaughter's socks got threadbare, he would take them back to the  Bass Pro store in Springfield, Mo., and get a free replacement pair, no questions, no hassle.

Until the hassle came along (you knew it would)! Last year, according to the lawsuit Slaughter has filed, they refused, and offered to swap his “lifetime warranty” socks for a pair with a 60-day warranty.

By the way, these are not second-rate socks at all. They sell for $11.99 a pair.

Slaughter's suit says Bass Pro is cheating customers with a “hollow promise” that swaps a lifetime promise for a two-month promise. 

Try that at the altar one day, promising to love, honor and cherish for sixty days.

His class-action lawsuit in the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Missouri asks for a trial by a jury of sock-wearing Wisconsinites...and $5 million in damages.

“This lawsuit is about one simple principle: a corporation’s obligation to tell consumers the truth. Bass Pro Shop made a promise to its customers when it offered its RedHead socks with a lifetime guarantee. Those words should mean something,” says Slaughter's California-based law firm, Singleton Schreiber.

"But it says right there...."

Bass Pro Shops has declined to comment on the allegations, but did point out that they are having a great sale on coolers, fishing rods, and down vests.

In 2018, USA Today said that many retailers have discontinued lifetime guarantees, but Bass Pro continued to trumpet the value of their socks with terms such as "THE LAST SOCK YOU’LL EVER NEED TO BUY," and “backed by our Lifetime Guarantee,” and "customers can return them for a FREE replacement” if they wear out or get holey. 

Well, of course, we're all on Slaughter's side. We need to keep things fair and square. If something says it's guaranteed for two months, so be it, but don't tell me I can get a replacement for the rest of my life and then tell me you didn't think I'd live that long!