Free advice is worth the price

I have known several people who made nice livings, or part-time money, working as strippers.

Of course, stripping is best done out of doors, since it involves chemicals. There are several products one can use for stripping at home...

Wait a minute. Did you think we were talking about removing our clothes in front of people for money or something? I was talking about taking an old desk or bureau or kitchen table, and removing the layers of paint and lacquer and starting over fresh. That's furniture stripping! You should see them go to work on an old etagere with their chemicals. Some even use Easy-Off oven cleaner. But the chemicals reduce the old layers to a goop which they wipe off and get ready to refinish. It's quite an art.

But furniture strippers work hard all day long, and don't have time to listen to financial guidance, which is why people "in the know" say the OTHER kind of strippers are better at forecasting the stock market than most people.

I wouldn't take advice on how to compose a message in English from this @botticellibimbo person, but she says we are in a depression now, and bases this on how many strip clubs are empty.

Ms Bimbo explains, “the strip club is sadly a leading indicator and i can promise ya’ll we r in a recession lmao.”

Here's a tip: don't listen too much to people who actually type "y'all." It's overdone.

Her post was written in May, and it's gotten tons of likes and retweets since.

She also says that strip clubs have been “an operative tool” for business people, not just a source of ‘sinful’ entertainment. 

 Apparently, a lot of business talk happens at "gentlemen's" clubs. 

I thought that's what golf was for.

She goes on to say that in her line of work,  “we always have to be aware of fluctuations in the market and how upper class men are behaving and spending their money...we have to be aware of how rich people are going to spend their money, stripping is betting on how the rich spend their money.”

She even gets religious for a moment, pointing out that the money really flows in these clubs around the time of year when we celebrate Christmas. How quaint!

The tweets end with her saying, with naught but anecdotal evidence, that "every single stripper I know is a better trend forecaster than any finance bro or marketing exec.”

Well, now, that cinches it for me. Next time I have a windfall to invest, I'll just head on down to Starbutts or The Bare Trap and receive worthwhile investment counseling. Then on the way home I'll stop off at Madame Bazinga's to have my palm read.