In the frozen isle

Many people will say, "Oh I could live there!" when talking about some remote outpost on a barren desert or an ice floe somewhere cold. 

And maybe they could, but would they be happy enough to stay? The reason I say, here's a job opportunity for that person you know who says they are tired of the heat and the crowds around here.

It's a position at a post office in Antarctica. Duties include sorting mail, selling stamps, "and other duties as assigned," as job spec sheets always says (that's a sneaky way to avoid telling you that you have to empty the trashcans). Oh! Almost forgot. One of those other duties is counting penguins.

This is the post office at Port Lockroy, which is a popular tourist spot off the west side of Antarctica. Goudier Island, they call it, and 18,000 tourists throng the place every tourist season, which is about how many people are in any pool in Cancún, México at any time, but they lack penguins in México.

Port Lockroy is a British Antarctic territory.  "Base A", where the post office is, was set up in 1944 as a research station. I don't know if they still do much research down there, but they do have the UK Antarctic Heritage Trust running a museum and gift shop. The money they make from the gift shop goes toward renovations of other historic sites in Antarctica.

Now, about that penguin counting...the people at the UKAHT are studying how much impact tourists have on the penguin population, so someone has to get out there and count the number of penguins — and penguin chicks — on the island. With the results of the impact study in hand, officials can determine just how many visitors to allow on the island while striving to "to ensure the environment is properly cared for," according to the territory's website.

Sound good? Well, here's the scoop. Pack your woolies, because it gets down to minus 23° F there, not to mention the wind chill. So we won't.

All the staffers share one bedroom with no flushing toilet, just a camp toilet that, one supposes, the new guy or girl has to empty daily.

Running water? There is none. Sometimes a visiting ship will allow staffers to climb aboard for a shower, but you might wait two weeks between showers.

There are no cell phones or internet access, so there is very little communication with home. Some might see this as a bonus; I don't know.

And don't get sick; it might take up to a week to get you to a hospital.

 "Antarctica is a physically and mentally challenging place to work," advises the information available to job seekers. 

I think I'd rather be the towel boy in Cancún.