GF-BF-WTF

21-year-old Annie Wright, out of Atlanta, GA, took up with a guy she met, and after two weeks they were bf-gf. And just to make sure they stayed in each other's hearts, she wrote up 17-page relationship contract.

You know, just like Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory, except this is real  life for Annie, who laid out the four main objectives she is looking for in a relationship that has already survived two long weeks: honesty, communication, awareness of partner’s needs and clarity and alignment in their intentions.

The boyfriend, identified as Michael Head, is fortunate. She could have gone all Boy Scout and demanded that he be Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

She says she was just joking at first (“I made the idea as a joke, then he said, ‘No, seriously. We can do that and talk about it.’ ”) but I'm thinking she is not the funniest lady in Atlanta, so maybe she was serious, huh?

She had been in a lousy relationship before, and when Tinder gave her Head, she said she was going to make this one work.

He is a law student. I'm sure they still study Contracts, don't they?

She told a news source, “At the time, I had braces in college, and I was very embarrassed,” said Wright. “It was also pandemic time. But I got to the point where I was like ‘screw it — I’m going on dates with guys and don’t care anymore.’ I matched with almost anybody on Tinder and would tell my matches, ‘I’m going on a walk with my dog at 2 p.m. today — are you free?’ It was a fluke that I met him. I was going on three Tinder dates a week to go out there and meet people.”

Does anyone else sense a bit of desperation here? 

So, they meet, they click, and she's ready to lock things down. “He was like, ‘I want us to be boyfriend and girlfriend.’ ” Wright said. “In order to be ready for that, we had to lay some serious ground rules.”

Included in the 17-page Magna Carta Junior: he is forbidden to give her the silent treatment, he will pay for all dates, and he cannot isolate her from her loved ones. He has to come up with a romantic gesture every two weeks, and he has to work out at least five times a week.

So this is love...sign here in triplicate.

Printouts in hand, she flew to the side of her new inamorato, and said things like,  “I felt like the biggest issue I had in my last relationship was it felt like boundaries of mine were crossed that I never established. I was like, ‘This time I’ll write them out and no one can cross my boundaries.’ Michael’s also pre-law so he was pretty keen on the idea of making a contract.”

"Boundaries of mine were crossed that I never established." Isn't that a line from a Hallmark movie? Or at least the title of one?

Miss Wright (!) says she can't believe other couples don't have relationship contracts (“We treat our relationship almost like a business interaction”) and she allows that he might want to toss in an addendum or two, such as requiring her to take off her shoes in his apartment. She "always forgets."

I'm just an old-timer coming up on 50 years of marriage, so what do I know? We never had any sort of contract except that we fell in love and promised to stay that way, and it has been no problem doing so. Nothing is notarized, no lawyers were involved. 

And who knows? Maybe these two crazy kids will make it. I promise you this, if they are still together 50 years from now, it will be because they found a way to love each other more than they love themselves.