No, he wasn't wearing Crocs

I'm lucky enough to have friends online in Australia, and it never fails to fascinate me that they are the middle of summer when we are in the middle of winter. leaving me with a huge desire to move there every April and return home every November, thereby ridding myself of the agony known as spring and summer forever.

Accordingly, it was no surprise to read that it's fishing time in Australia, down under (do they call our part of the world "Up Over"?) and two guys landed a whopper all right.

Can you think of three worse words together than "crocodile-infested mangrove" or two worse words than "naked fugitive"?

No. Well, Cam Faust and Kevin Joiner were in a small boat deploying crab traps in East Point, a suburb of the town of Darwin the other day, and they heard someone calling for help.

"We heard this faint like 'ahhh, ahhhh' -- (I said) to me mate 'is that guy saying help?' So we got a bit closer and said 'I can see you,'" Faust told 9News.

Admit it: you read that in the voice on Angus Young, right?

Cam and Kevin looked out, and there was the bloody, swollen, muddy body of one Luke Voskresensky, 40, clinging to a tree. 

 

 Voskresensky had papers on him for allegedly breaching bail over an armed robbery. He had broken free from his ankle monitor several days before, and told the news that he had been living in the mangrove (a shrubby tree that grows as coastal vegetation) for four days. 

So let's see: he was floating around unclothed in brackish crocodile-infested waters, banged up, thirsty, living on snails.

During his temporary freedom, Voskrensky decided to go to a New Year's Eve party, and, true to his crummy luck, he got lost and then stuck in the tree.

Watch for his forthcoming book, "Boy, Did I Make A Wrong Turn!" I hope the book will offer details on just how one loses his pants, shirt, and shoes on the way to a party.

Faust and Joiner were cool; they gave Voskresensky (who was happy to be rescued) a cold beer and Faust chipped in with a pair of shorts so old Luke wouldn't have to go to court nekkid.

 Arrested, Voskresensky is being treated for exposure at Royal Darwin Hospital.

"He's in hospital with handcuffs on with two cops babysitting him," Faust told 9News.

Better than two crocodiles eating him!