Hairy Styles

To me, one of the saddest things going is seeing some old man (my age) desperately trying to hang onto his fleeting youth. As so many of us have wavy hair, many of us are seeing it wave good bye!

There are two ways to handle this. One is to let it be, to admit that your forehead now extends to the top of your melon. And the other is to wear a hat with a tuxedo or suit, which has been the Ron Howard way of dealing with a sparse pate for a long time.

The Keith Richards program means wrapping a scarf or headband around the forehead.

In both of these situations, the man involved might just as well wear a flag around his neck reading "I don't have a lot of hair."

You can say that these sexagenarians and septuagenarians have influenced other men, and to be honest, if they need to do it, fine with me. And fine with Jaxson Crossland, too.

Who's Jaxson Crossland, you ask me? Well, sir, Jaxson, or "Jax," as he likes to be called, is a third-grader down in Celeste, Texas, who just happens to be the proud winner of first-place honors  for Best Mullet in the kids category at the USA Mullet Championships. His take? $500, which he will spend on his childhood pursuits: boxing, fishing and dirt biking.

His mom is Zoie Shepard, and she says, "Jax has been just ecstatic since winning. It's been so great to be able to enter him into something that celebrates what makes him different. It's been so awesome for Jax, people recognize him everywhere now."

This being 2020, not even mullet contests could be held in person, so kids from all corners mailed in mullet photos. 

I didn't know this, but there are various forms of mulletry. I thought there was the Billy Ray Cyrus style, but there are also Freedom Flappers, Modern mullets and the Tennessee top hat. 

Maybe because of, maybe in spite of, the pandemic, but the contest brought in over 20,000 votes and 50,000 social media comments. Jaxson placed his crown atop his curly mullet n October 27 at the 2020 Kids Mullet Championships. 

I didn't know there was such a job as "president of the USA Mullet Championships, but one Kevin Begola holds that position now. He says, "The contest has blown up with over 20,000 votes from all over the country. During these tough times it's important to have fun. This is exactly what 2020 needed!"

Jaxson "enjoyed every second of it," says his mom. He bought boxing gear and paid for boxing classes, but as famous as he is right now, please don't ask for his autograph...

"I can't give autographs right now, cause I don't know cursive," he'll tell you.