Thursday, April 27, 2017

State of Gracie

As always, The Simpsons presaged this years ago, in the 1993 episode "Marge On The Lam," when Homer, reaching up inside a soda vending machine gets his hand caught:

Repairman 1#: Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Repairman 1#: Oh... yeah.
[He cranks up the rotary saw and moves it toward Homer's arm...]
Repairman 2#: Wait a minute. Homer, are you just holding on to the can?
Homer: Your point being...?

Gracie Henderson of New Caney, Texas, had her Homer moment the other day. It was not her best day by any means, as she moved into a new house.

"A water pipe busted (sic) in the wall the day I moved in. I got my car stuck in the mud in the front yard. My brand new lawn mower stopped working," was how she described her mishaps to the Houston Chronicle.

With all that happening, the last thing she needed was for the toilet to clog up.

So, of course, the toilet clogged up, and, not having a plunger, she decided to take the old advice that one can always find a helping hand, right at the end of one's left arm.

In she plunged, right up to her watch, and then the watch got stuck in the commode. And since she couldn't very well reach in with her other hand to remove the watch, she was stuck.

But, she works as a paramedic, and so she reasoned, "It’s not really stuck, I’m not really about to call 911 for this. We’ve done all kinds of crazy stuff [as medics], but I have never done a hand- stuck-in-the-toilet call," she told "Inside Edition."

Guess what! Someone really did call 911 for her, and EMS came out to the house. They removed the toilet from the floor, carried it and her outside, and smashed the American Standard to American Smithereens with a sledgehammer, while Gracie writhed in mortification.

Good thing she had a free hand to cover
her embarrassment
She got a new toilet installed, and the "Inside Edition" people gave her the gift of a plunger, and she is all happy now, and would give you this advice, I'm sure:

Before you attempt to do anything this silly, stop and ask yourself, "Is there a chance I could wind up on one of those goofy Inside Access shows that come on at 7:30 by doing this?"

If there is, don't do it. There are much better ways to meet Deborah Norville.

A Texas woman took the plunge into viral infamy when she got her hand stuck in a toilet.

Gracie Henderson was having a tough time with the move into her new home in New Caney.

Then she got the royal flush of misery on April 12 when her toilet clogged and she didn’t have a plunger. Henderson thought she might be able to fix the clogged commode by sticking her hand into the pot.

Instead, she got herself into a real shitstorm when her watch got stuck and, by extension, the hand it was on, according to KHOU-TV.

Henderson was flushed with embarrassment because she works as a medic and knew how ridiculous her call was going to sound to other first responders.

Emergency Medical Services came to Henderson’s home to “rescue” her. The operation required removing the toilet from the bathroom, carrying it outside with her hand still in it and then breaking it open with a sledgehammer, according to the Houston Chronicle.

“My son was mortified when all the EMS and fire showed up!!!” Henderson told the paper.

Henderson now needs a new toilet for the home, but she already has something that is almost as important: a new plunger, donated to her by “Inside Edition.”

“This is my best friend from now on,” she told the show.

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