Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Next year, I resolve to make my resolutions on time

Image result for resolutionsI have, in years gone by, resolved to make no more New Year resolutions, because I always hated to see January 10 arrive and realize the list was pretty well shot already.

But really, why just make resolutions on January 1?  Any day of the year is a good to make changes.  The only thing remarkable about Jan 1 is that there are football games to watch, and Auburn usually loses.  

And it was a day in mid-September long ago when I stubbed out the last Kool cigarette I would ever smoke.  So the day you make the change is not significant; the change itself is the thing.

I found a list of anytime resolutions online, and I am a madman for online lists. Let's see how it works out...


  • A destination I'd like to visit: The set of The Price Is Right. Just to be in that room would be magic, whether or not Drew Carey invited me to play Plinko
  • A food I want to eat more of: Kale. I've always loved it, it's very healthy, and I almost feel like I shouldn't love it as much as I do, because it doesn't taste like food that's "good for you." Boil it, broil it, sauté it, make a salad of it, even roast it for snack chips...more Kale please! 
  • I'd like to spend more time: at the library. A world of information at my fingertips with a fireside reading room in which to enjoy it! 
  • A class I'd like to take: If any school anywhere ever offers a symposium on the life and writings of Ring Lardner, I will be there in the front row!
  • A bad habit I'd like to break: I just checked with Peggy and received confirmation that I have no bad habits whatsoever, and there's nothing about me that needs the slightest change. But seriously, I would like to stop fretting so much over other people's mispronunciations on radio and TV. I mean, I know what they mean when they say, "respitory," "tempacher," and "on tenderhooks," so I'm just going to seethe to myself from now on.
  • Something I need to fix is the junked-up, stacked up conditions of the garage, and pretty soon I'm going out there to clear out the detritus. Anyone who needs some extra tire irons, snow scrapers or Greaseman cassettes should be standing in the driveway when these items and thousands more go flying out of there.
  • I'm going to work harder at getting more exercise. My preferred method is walking. My doctor asked me if I'd ever been to Cleveland, and when I said no, he suggested I go...by foot. And walk home!
  • I want to wear more of what I call the Brick Heck look. Long tshirts topped with short sleeved shirts, cargo pants - short or long - and a rakish fedora or newsboy cap. The Goodwill was happy to get the lion's share of my ties when I retired; I kept just a couple for wearing to funerals (including my own) and my two remainging suits will do forever. No more Weejuns, no peeble-grain bluchers, no wingtips on my feet.  Like all retired men, I'm walking on Rockports or I'm staying home! 


Whatever your goals, be they daily or annual, good luck and happy rest-of-the-year!

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