Thursday, November 10, 2016

In China, as everywhere

The latest news from China: 

A young man reportedly trying to impress two women was wrestled to the ground by a giant panda at a Chinese zoo after he entered the enclosure to wake the animal up.

The incident, which was caught on a surveillance camera, happened as the man toured the attraction in Nanchang, east Jiangxi province, with two female friends. 

Image result for wei yin chen
Wei-Yin Chen
What you will notice is that you only had to read the first four words of the first sentence before it all came clear.  Why would this man, whose name is reported to be Chen (one can only hope it's not Wei-Yin Chen!) climb a 4 1/4 foot-high perimeter fence, and then vault over a 10 foot-deep ditch and wake up the sleeping giant panda Mei Ling?

To impress two women.

The panda weighs 266 pounds. He grabbed Chen by the legs and tossed him down like you or I would discard a 1/2-eaten bag of popcorn.  Then, with both his pants and his plans to look like a bigshot in front of his girl friends (not girlfriends) torn all to heck, he ran like a thief in the night.  

"The young man left the zoo right after he escaped and we could not get in touch with him," said Kuang Huaming, the deputy head of the zoo.

"On the other hand, we also arranged medical checks for the panda and told the breeders to closely observe its condition. So far the panda is fine."

OF COURSE the panda is fine.  The only problem the panda will have after an encounter with a human fool is indigestion.  Oh, and crankiness from being awakened by a human fool. 

Haming also said that Chen was very lucky that the panda was in the mood just to play with him. Had he been a cranky bear that day, Chen's companions would be visiting him in a hospital - or worse.  If they even still cared.

If you are a young woman, please allow me to be the one to tell you that men, for the rest of your life, will do things so stupid as to rule out any reasoning, for the sole purpose of trying to impress you.  These things will range from riding a bicycle with no hands on the handlebar to, later in life, drinking too much, driving 107 mph on the interstate at 3 in the morning, and pretending to enjoy the music of Bon Jovi.

Please be gentle with them.  They cannot help themselves.

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