Friday, January 23, 2015

He sure did show that safe who was boss

I can't tell the taste of one whisky from another, so if you want to tell me that Jack Daniel's is the best one out there, I can't come back with anything.  I'll toss a toothpaste-cap-size drop of hooch into my tea at night sometimes, but I get the cheapest rotgut I can find in the boozeatorium.  And a bottle will last me as long as a ham will last a vegan.

Death Certificate
Jasper Newton "Jack" Daniel died at age 61 in 1911, so there goes the theory about 86 proof corn juice being good for longevity. But how did he die?  Folklore has long claimed that the distiller always had trouble remembering the combination to his office safe, and one day, he gave the safe a good swift kick.

I'm sure that helped open it right up.

Jack's safe (36L - 17 R - 24 R)
Anyhooch, the story goes on that in so doing, he injured the toe, and the boo-boo got infected, and he got blood poisoning, and met his maker soon thereafter.  More recent biographies dispute this point, but you can see the safe at the Jack Daniel's plant in Lynchburg, TN.

Those of us who enjoyed physical education classes at Towsontown Junior High School will remember being told that we HAD to wear white socks for gym because the son of a president once got a cut foot while engaged in some sport, and was wearing colored socks, and got blood poisoning and died.  Well, now that I am retired and have all the time in the world to look stuff up, I can set the record straight.  The young man in question was Calvin Coolidge, Jr, son of our 30th president, Herbert Hoover*.  He was playing tennis at the White House tennis courts (since removed to make room for Nixon's recording equipment) WITHOUT ANY socks at all, got a blood blister and died from the resulting infection a week later.

This proves, once again, that History is stranger than Physical Education, although, if you don't get a shower after PE, you'll really stink in History.

*There might be a test on this later.

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