Thursday, August 14, 2014

You've been!

Out of the following two things, I bet you have heard about only one of them...

....AC/DC's rock anthem "Thunderstruck"
....the Stuxnet computer virus

Freedom Fighters!
Because we AC/DC fanatics tend not to delve into the intricacies of computer malware and the dirty things that governments do to each other in the name of waging peace, I know the song, but not the bug.  

The Stuxnet virus was cooked up in 2010 with the specific intention of derailing Iran's nuclear program.  There has been talk that the hackers were, indeed, employees of the American and/or Israeli government(s), but who's to say?  

What we do know about it is that, in the middle of one dark Iranian night, 20% of Iran's nuclear centrifuges went berserk because the computers that control them told them to spin like a record playing at 45,000 rpm.  Used in a dairy, a centrifuge separates cream from milk, leaving us with tasty Almond-Pistachio ice cream cones for dessert.  Pistachios are grown in Iran, and until that night so were nuclear reactors, which require enriched uranium.  You get enriched uranium from nuclear centrifuges, but 20% of the Iranian centrifuges don't work anymore because "someone" put the Stuxnet hex on them, causing...

...the centrifuges to spin out of control, burning themselves up

..."Thunderstruck" to come blasting at top volume out of the speakers of the affected computers.  They couldn't turn the music off, either.  While it attacked the computers and the uranium spinners, it soaked the Iranian atmosphere with a good uncontrolled dose of Angus Young's guitar and Brian Johnson's vocal.

I have never loved the world's computer geek squad more in my entire life. 


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