Touching all the bases

Not that any of my valued readers are in this category of humanity, but in case someone you know has completely run out of ways to be a complete ass, there's always the time-tested, rollicking good time known as "getting drunk and running around on the baseball field while people are trying to play baseball on it."

And then talking like Jeff Spicoli to a TV reporter asking you about it, Duuuuuuuuuuude.

Headed for a night in jail

Here's the story from Baltimore's own FOX45 about this clown who became the fourth individual to perform this asininity on the field at Oriole Park at Camden Yards this year.  This fool from last Friday's game was, however, the first to be tackled by the home plate umpire.

Of interest to me were the reactions of some people that the TV guy asked about it...some said they felt it was wrong, but one misguided "fan" said it was ok with him if the perpetrator was financially able to pay the fine.  Now that's the kind of citizen we need, people with a crystal-clear vision of right and wrong.
People pay to go see professional baseball being played; they should not have to watch a buffoon running around shirtless and senseless.

Legal buffs will recall that in the 70s, the Baltimore City Council passed a law in response to an outbreak of people tossing hot dogs and candy bars at Reggie Jackson, a law that made it illegal to throw anything on the field at the old Memorial Stadium.

The law was hastily amended when someone realized that all the ballplayers who threw baseballs, footballs, bats, helmets and tantrums at the ballpark were in violation of it.


Getting back to this spate of people cavorting on the field of play, here's a reminder that individuals who still feel a need to make nincompoops of themselves should do so in the traditional way, by hosting talk shows on the FOX News Channel.