Thursday, May 10, 2012

Burning the scandal at both ends

You know how people are always saying they'd give their right arm to be famous, rich and popular?

Well, say good morning to Rihanna, the noted mononymous, famous, rich and popular singer.  This >> is her left arm, hooked to an IV drip in a New York hospital. 

She showed up at the hospital on Monday night, complaining of exhaustion and dehydration.

This being the modern era, her fans had become worried when she didn't send 127 tweets on Monday, so they tweeted her, causing her to send the picture above.

What was really cool is that she appended no words to the phototweet.  So remember, next time someone calls, emails, texts or tweets to ask you whatcha doin', just send a picture of what (or whom) you're doin' at that very moment.

Anyway, the life of entertaining people is rigorous, and from all accounts, Rihanna is entertaining people at clubs all around the world...sometimes as a featured performer, and then sometimes as a partying member of the audience.  Her friends say she is burning the candle at both ends, and of course they say they are worried about her.

Robin Rihanna Fenty was born in February, 1988, making her 24 years of age.  If she is insufficiently self-aware, perhaps one of the many people who are making fortunes off her talent will take her aside and bring her to me.  I will do a cursory examination and then tell her the following deep secrets known only to a privileged few:

For exhaustion, get some rest.
To ward off dehydration, drink some water.
To treat simultaneous exhaustion and dehydration, drink the water first, and then get the rest.

Visits to emergency rooms should not be regarded as suitable substitutes for basic personal health care.

That's my medical advice, Rihanna.

That'll be $10,000, please.

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