Last night, an odd thing occurred. There was a good show on PBS and no one asked for money! It was about the Lincoln Assassination, and John Wilkes Booth's bumbling escape plan. Any time you plan to commit such a heinous crime, don't let an actor be part of your getaway scheme. They rarely do well without outside direction.
that's not what I'm yammering about today, and I only made the horrible
pun in the title (Booth, a showman to the end, hollered "Sic semper
tyrannis" (Thus ever to tyrants) after shooting Lincoln and jumping to
the stage of Ford's Theater, breaking his leg in what must have been the
most awkward stage entrance ever until the day Frank Sinatra brought
Dean Martin onto the Jerry Lewis telethon) because when one is SICK,
there is never anything good on television.
Why, when we were
young, we loved snow days and sick days because in that horrible pre-VCR
world, we got to see what the housebound enjoyed every day: Art
Linkletter's "House Party," Mike Douglas, and Password, starring Allen
Ludden ("The password is 'naptime'...... 'To Nipsey Russell...to Brett Somers Klugman....and to you at home...' ").
more, although if you can hang on 'til three o'clock, Ellen DeGeneres
puts on a pretty good show, and then comes Oprah with her collection of
And fans of jurisprudence - let's hear it for the judges
and defense attorneys who work so hard to keep our criminals out of
jail and on the streets! For crying
out loud, there's Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mills Lane, The
People's Court, Judge Mathis, Divorce Court, Judge Hatchett,and Texas
Justice. Now we know why so many crimes are being committed! All the
judges in the nation are busy appearing on syndicated television shows,
and have precious little time to bang down the gavel on the murdering
thieving fingers of a repeat felon in downtown Baltimore when there are
momentous cases involving someone's ex-girlfriend and the $753 bill for
the fender she banged up on the Sonata, pulling out of that strip club
parking lot the other night.Hizzoner Larry Joe Doherty
And to the makers of Texas Justice: the show where people from deep in the heart of come
on to settle their feudin' and rustlin' and divinin' rod issues: why
are all these people wearing cowboy hats indoors? The coach of the
Houston Oilers, Mr Bum "Bum" Phillips, refused to wear his 20-gallon
Stetson inside the Astrodome! And these Cletuses (Cletii?) are standing
around jawjacking in a court of law wearing hats.
There ought to
be a judge show in which judges judge judges. And their wardrobes.