Monday, December 5, 2011

Tooling around

(Orange) Juice S2
My nephew wants a Leatherman for Christmas, and I couldn't agree more.  A Leatherman is the ne plus ultra - the finest kind - of pocket tools.  I myself proudly tote a 2001 Juice S2 - orange in color - and it has literally gotten me out of any number of situations.  

Let's face it, ladies and gentlemen, when it's time to pass out the Christmas presents, the family always turns to the one person among them who carries a Leatherman (there are fake-y brands, but wouldn't you really rather have the real thing?) so he or she can slit tape, snip wire, remove staples, and open up battery compartments for toys.  

Have you ever tried to remove a doll from its wrappings on Christmas morning while eager hands try to pry it from yours? It's glued and bolted onto a piece of cardboard suitable for patching holes in an airplane chassis, and then they wrap a mile or two of baling wire around it all.  If more police secured their prisoners the way Fisher-Price packages Tackle Me Elmo for delivery, there would be far fewer escapees sauntering around, I'll tell you that right now.

My Dad used to know an old guy who ran a hardware store, and when he and his friends got together, if one asked the other to show his pocket knife and the guy had no pocket knife on him, he had to pay a dollar.  I have always remembered that, and so I have been able to hold on to many of my dollar bills, because I always have my mini-Swiss Army knife on my keychain, my regular Swiss Army in my pocket and the Juice in my manpurse, where it is ready to go on active duty for holidays and gatherings.

I once found myself trapped by a faulty trap door leading to my parents' attic.  The door was jammed, the latch would not open, and the only way out was to remove the hinges.  I was prepared, and here I am today to tell the story.  If not for the pocket took kit that I lug around, I might still be in that attic, wearing an old fur coat, watching old home movies...

Leathermen (Leathermans?) are not cheap, but you can get a decent one for around 35 bucks.  You can go all the way up to a hundred or so, but then you have to stop and think, how often will you need an electrical crimper or an awl?  But I remember fondly how my Dad would look over his tool collection, pick out a long wooden-handled device with a steel spike on the other end, and say, "Son, someday, this awl will be yours."

1 comment:

Kristen said...

Aw, you made me want to watch NL's Christmas Vacation. Also, you made me want my own orange Leatherman. Very nice.