Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Republican Party Like It’s 1979

Out in Iowa, where they’re known for being stubborn, Michele  Bachmann also seems to hope they’re forgetful.  The other day, after people in Iran stormed the British Embassy in Tehran to protest London's support of recently upgraded Western sanctions on Tehran over its disputed nuclear program, reliable old Michele told a group of Hawkeyes that if she were president, she would close the American Embassy in Tehran.

Cue the memory of Sgt Hulka in “Stripes” saying, “Son, there ain’t no draft no more.”

Earth to Michele: there is no American Embassy in Tehran, Iran.  You see, back in 1980, there was a little bit of commotion over there, and forces loyal to Ayatollah Khomeini overthrew the Bazargan regime.  These people did not like the US one little bit and they held 52 of our people hostage for 444 days.  We thought you had heard about that.  It was in all the papers.  We have not had… diplomatic relations…with that country…since 1980.  

We watch Brian Williams every night, a man so cool that he can keep it together for a live 30-minute news wrap-up and not be bothered by a little thing like a fire alarm klaxon sounding in his studio.  He didn’t even bother to mention this latest gaffe by Ms Bachmann.  I think it’s like when your goofy cousin from Peanut Prairie shows up at a funeral wearing cutoffs and drinking a Dr Pepper.  Best just not to say anything about it.

Back to live action, don’t you love it when foreign students run around burning up cars and burning flags just to demonstrate their outrage?  What cheesed the Iranians off against the British is that the Brits are shying away from the Iranians since it appears that Khomeiniville is working on a nuclear program.  

We scoff at these students. Over here, we reserve our rage for when an overage football coach gets a can tied to him because he knew that children were being raped in his building but he said nothing.  It would have been nice had those goobers at Penn State gotten mad over JoePal’s failure to act in any honorable way, but no.  They were worried about the future of their football team.  

I’m living in a country where some people think Michele Bachmann knows enough to be our leader.  That’s why I worry about our future.

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