Wednesday, July 20, 2011

We weep what we sow

I try to keep an eye on culture, hoping to acquire a little for myself, and I notice trends sometimes.  Such as, all of a sudden, people are crying all over the place.  Men and women and children and old timers and who-all else are reaching for the Kleenex and mopping up rivulets of tears.

Someone mentioned that the men who get booted off this show "The Bachelorette" turn on the waterworks as soon as they find out they just got the gate.  Why is this happening?  In the first place, who wants to hang around and be involved in a made-up romance?  And second, whatever happened to being a good loser?  So you didn't get chosen to be a finalist on a TV show.  Where's the dignity, son?

Glenn Beck, who momentarily captured the attention of inattentive Americans, used to sob almost every night as he wove his web of prevarication. Brett Favre of the Packers/Jets/Vikings, Mike Schmidt of the Phillies and countless other athletes have wept bitter tears upon discovering that it was time for them to retire and stay home to watch Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown and Judge and Weesie Jefferson on TV.

If I apologize for that "Judge Jefferson" joke, I'd have to apologize for hundreds of other lousy puns, so I'll just say I'm deeply apoplectic about it all.

Sin for your supper
Of course, the all-time champ is cornball preacher Jimmy Lee Swaggart, who got caught in the front seat of his Lincoln getting hand action from a hooker in 1988.  He went on TV looking like a hurricane was storming across his face, and blubbered, "I have sinned."  He begged for, and received forgiveness. 

In 1991, Swaggart, who is known for two things, soliciting prostitutes and being the cousin of Jerry Lee Lewis, got caught again with a hooker getting busy on little Jimmy Lee.  This time, though, he skipped the tears and said to his flock, what remained of it, "The Lord told me it's flat none of your business."

But that was twenty years ago, and now Tim Tebow cries because of losing a football game.  And John Boehner cries because he looks so tan.  And people cry because they lose televised weight-loss contests. And people cry at weddings and laugh at funerals.

I don't understand, but I'm not about to cry over it.

1 comment:

LENHY said...

Boo Hoo. People always type LOL. What would be a good abbreviation for crying? BH, CMAO ROFC, TAR? Just asking.