Monday, July 11, 2011

Rolling right along

I walked into the supermarket across the street from work, and on the way, I saw a jerky guy put his bags of food into his car and then let his cart just sit there.  It took about 3 seconds for it to roll away and bang into the bumper of a Buick.  The jerkface drove away without a care in the world.  After all, it wasn't his ox being gored, or his Buick getting bumpulated.  (He drove a Jeep Jerkface.)

So on into the store I went, and when I got to the checkout line, the cashier was willing to treat me to a short treatise on her views of the American Immigration Crisis.  "We went to Orlando and asked for towels at the motel and it took three hours, 'cause the girl at the desk didn't understand English.  What is this country coming to?"

I suggested that next time she finds herself in Disneyville with a drippy child, she simply call the front desk and say, "¡Más toallas, por favor!"  But, hey.

She still didn't walk away with the title of the Jerkiest Person At The Supermarket because that honor goes to the fool who came up with the new cover of Newsweek magazine.  Now, I understand that this magazine, which people actually used to buy and read, has suffered a huge decline in circulation over the past few years.  It's probably nestled in the magazine popularity charts between "Modern Plumber" and "Buffalo Nightlife," but still, this is just awful.  They superimposed a picture of the late beloved Lady Diana of England into a snapshot of her daughter-in-law, the former Kate Middleton.  And they used computer graphics - pretty cheap ones, at that - to age Diana, so she is not the lovely young lady we recall, cool as a rose.  They have her looking like some artist thinks 50-year-old women look like.  This is all ghoulish and creepy, if you ask me.
A lot of people will look at this and think that Diana and Kate met, or think that Diana didn't really die in a Paris car wreck in 1997, or whatever people think.  This is a news magazine with a made-up cover story.  Nice.

I'm going to show you the cover, but I hope it doesn't have the effect of making you want to run out and buy it.  I will be willing to bet that Mr Letshiscartroll is already home reading his. 

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