Tuesday, July 13, 2010
All the crowds we saw gathering on Sunday across Europe were celebrating the end of the World Cup Soccer Football tournament. Europeans by the millions and Americans, at least a dozen of them, were so tickled that they would no longer be watching people dribble while wearing shorts that many of them made plans to mail their vuvuzelas to Venezuela...Office workers, remember to bring some extra grocery bags with you to work for the next few weeks. It's Home Garden Giveaway Time across the land, as people with produce to spare that their garden produced bring it in to work, leaving huge pyramidal stacks of tomatoes on lunchroom tables from here to Seattle. Garrison Keillor says this is the one time of year that people lock their cars in his mythical home town of Lake Wobegon, lest they come out in the morning to find the passenger seat filled with squash. My question: much as I love the free garden goods, how about those people who own cows? Could we get them to leave some nice strip steaks free-for-the-takin'?...If you can name a better sandwich than Taylor Pork Roll, some cheddar cheese, and a slice of tomato on a toasted English muffin, tell me about it quickly please!...two more culinary notes... If you're looking to cut down on salty snack food, yet you still love the taste of processed corn snack, head to the Mexican Food aisle and get yourself a pack of tostadas . Just crack 'em up for snacks or use them for flat sandwiches! They have all the taste of Tostitos or Fritos and about a tenth the salt...And here is one I got from a lady in line at the Try 'N' Pay: next time you want to make a big lasagna for the family, use thinly-sliced sheets of eggplant instead of starchy noodles. No need to precook, either! Just slice 'em up, layer them in a pan with noodle sauce, cheese, and sausage if you wish, and bake it up to a golden turn! ...Bob Sheppard, the Yankee Stadium public address announcer from 1951 - 2007, passed away the other day at the age of 99. The story in the New York paper said that Sheppard didn't like to give his age! This October, he was to turn 100. I think that's something to be proud of. Trust me, if I get anywhere close to living for a century, people are going to hear about it! Hey, if I get close to 60, people are gonna hear about it!...Well, it's July, and we all know what that means. It means it's not a great month to go the hospital, since the staff is largely made up of brand-new interns, just out of medical school. So if you find yourself in need of emergency medical attention this month, see if you can hold on until these new folks get some more experience, according to the National Bureau for Economic Research, which no one has ever heard of before. Or, look at it this way - these newly-minted doctors were just in class, learning about what ails you, a couple of months ago - and old-timers learned the old way of fixing things a long, long time ago...So Switzerland refuses to extradite Roman Polanski, in the apparent belief that it was all right for him to have sex with a child. I can now state without fear of equivocation that I am hereby canceling my plans to take Peggy to Switzerland next spring. It was going to be a surprise, and now look, they ruined it all. And speaking of Polanski, how nauseous was it when all sorts of Hollywood types came out in support of the perv, claiming that it was OK for him to force himself on a 13-year-old because he is a really talented artistic movie director who has had a sad life? It is against the law to have sex with a 13-year-old, and remember, many of the people in the "film community" are people who believe they are creating great art by holding a camera fairly still in front of other people who are pretending to be other people. Maybe ask the parents of a girl who just turned 13 how they feel...Speaking of movies, and I'm not saying these people are as bad as Polanski and his misguided friends, but the people who made the movie "The Road" really need to lighten up. Peggy was watching that on ppv downstairs and I had to keep coming down to make sure that she wasn't slitting her wrists or fashioning a noose out of some old bath towels as she sat immersed in the preponderant gloom that the movie depicts. And yet, it was hailed as a great artistic achievement, while "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure remains curiously Oscar®-free. You tell me why!...We had about an inch of rain this past Saturday, which was not enough to slake the drought we've been dealing with, but what a refreshing change to have a steady rain for most of the day! You could almost hear the grass, trees and shrubbery saying "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" Good times!