A boy named Susie

From all accounts, Epping Forest is a lovely neighborhood in Anne Arundel County. It's a waterfront community of some 300 homes, almost a hundred years old, and it has strict bylaws and community standards.

This past Saturday night, three 12-year-olds from the Forest went out Christmas caroling, to spread a bit of holiday cheer. It's an old-fashioned tradition that I wish was more popular nowadays.

The crime-ridden streets of Epping Forest, where a man needs to be armed against the roving packs of ne'er-do-well carolers.

What happened next is not likely to spur the growth of caroling: less than a quarter mile from the home of one of the young people, they knocked on the door of another home and, according to the Baltimore Banner, "a man appeared in a bay window next to the front door and pointed a handgun directly at them,  Anne Arundel County police wrote in charging documents."

The kids fled back to one of their homes, a parent called 911, and in the 1700 block of Point No Point Drive, police met with a man named Paul Brian Susie, a 58-year-old banker who occupies a dwelling with his wife and who was described by police as "belligerent."

According to the police, Susie “confirmed through his admission that he was the male subject involved in this incident.”

The police learned he has a handgun permit to defend himself from marauding 12-year-old carolers. The cops removed his gun from a safe. Susie did acknowledge having at least one drink while watching TV with his wife.

The police report went on: “Given Susie’s reckless behavior in pointing a loaded firearm at a group of non-threatening twelve year old’s he could clearly see on his well-lit stoop, his loud and belligerent behavior during my conversation with him, and his admission of consuming an alcoholic beverage I know through my training, knowledge, and experience Susie was likely under the influence.” 

So they arrested him, charging him with three counts each of first-degree assault, second-degree assault and reckless endangerment, plus one count of wearing and carrying a handgun while under the influence. He was bailed out on Sunday on a $10,000 unsecured bond.

Gun "enthusiasts" will pardon my wondering why a grown man would point a gun at kids, to wit, kids trying to sing Christmas carols to an old grinch named Susie. I think the whole story stinks, beginning with the claim that the couple was watching Television. Everyone knows there's nothing on on Saturday night, nothing to appeal to a 58-year-old banker with some sort of fear of children. 

Some sweet day, the responsible gun owners (there must be some somewhere) will realize that clowns like this Banking Barney Fife are the reason why so many of us scoff at their claims of needing to be armed to the hilt to protect themselves from Pentatonix impersonators wreaking aural havoc on a well-heeled community of Topsider wearers. 

Let me know. Until then, the scoffing continues. And I hope this mannish boy loses his right to wave a pistol around.