Ripoff

 It's hard to believe that people have the temerity to do this, but they do. I urge all homeowners to listen to good advice. I've seen a few social posts about this, and I don't want to see anyone I like get burned by these swindlers. (If I don't like you, feel free to get fleeced.)

This is the deal we're talking about: phony driveway paving "contractors." How they work it is this:  A guy shows up at your door, says he's a paving contractor, and JUST HAPPENS to have enough material left over from a job "right around the corner" from here. He might even mention a name: "Yes, we just finished working at the O'Hooligan's house...do you know them...Harry and Pearl...fine people. Anyway, I have JUST ENOUGH on my truck to seal your driveway, and I think it would be worth your while to let me make that drive of yours look like new again. And I can let you have it for a song!"

Don't fall for this. He will tell you he's working "off the books," so rather than go through all that paperwork and get his company involved, he'll save you a fortune if you take the deal under the table. Remember, he's gonna do it for a song.

Well, the song you'll be singing will be "Song Sung Blue" because the next time it rains, that mixture of a little bit of asphalt and a lot of used motor oil he probably stole from a gas station is going to run off your driveway like Lamar Jackson running away from a tackler.

Again, people say they're seeing friends and neighbors getting ripped off, so don't be one of them. It's my habit to treat uninvited doorbell ringers to a lengthy lecture on one the various arcane topics I love to read about: old-school country music, great situation comedies, or maybe books I've enjoyed reading online. They tend not to come back after I talk awhile on any of these.

You've heard this a thousand times, but if some sharpy comes to you with a deal that's just out of this world, leave it there.