I was slowly making my way across a parking lot the other day. I wanted to be stepping faster, for fear that my shoes would sink into melting asphalt and render me immobile in this heat, but I stopped to puzzle at the name of a car I saw parked.
A "Kia Niro." And when I got home, I looked it up and found that Korean car manufacturer Kia also has a car for sale called the "Seltos."
Now, my Korean might be a little rusty, but what is a Seltos? "Niro" makes me think of Laura Nyro, the great songwriter who gave us "Blowing Away", "Wedding Bell Blues", "Stoned Soul Picnic", "Sweet Blindness", "Save the Country", "And When I Die", "Eli's Comin'", and "Stoney End".
But Nyro was not Laura Nigro's real name, so no.
Volkswagen will sell you a Touareg or a Tiguan.
Renault used to sell a LeCar, but it sucé (sucked, to you and me.)
How about a nice AMC Gremlin or a Dodge Demon to make you not sleep so well? A Chevrolet Citation? That's a parking ticket with wheels! A Ford Probe? They could have called it the DRE - that's the popular Digital Rectal Exam, fellas.
And if you want a real dog of a car, try a Kia K9!
Gone are the days when cars had cool names - Impala! Thunderbird! Mustang! Monte Carlo!
I was going to wait for the driver of the Niro to come out so I could interrogate him or her, but I had to get in the Rav 4 and get my groceries home.
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