Hats On

The question was put to me the other day by the Mrs, "Why do men like to wear a hat?"

I think she had been listening to That 80s Station and heard Men Without Hats doing the Safety Dance, I don't know.

But it is true, I don't like to leave the premises without a hat on, and it's usually a baseball cap that's atop my melon.

Even as a wee lad...

I could think of five reasons right away:

1 - A hat with a brim will keep the sun out of your eyes. Frenchmen sporting berets and anyone wearing a beanie know how tough this can be,

2 - I am way past the age of wanting to fool with my hair. No sprays or mousses or gels or macassars for me, please. When I wear a cap, for all anyone knows, it's all perfectly coiffed under there.

3 -  A hat lets you show your affiliation with a certain team or cause. (This is why I banished all my red hats, no matter what symbol they bore.) Try this simple test someday when you feel lonely: wear an Alabama Crimson Tide hat and see how many friendly folks give you a strong "Roll TIDE!" It will warm your heart, doggone ya.

4 - Combined with the bandana that you should always have, a cap become an emergency tote sack.

5 - Hats offer protection from spiderwebs getting on your bean. Every spring, the trees around here are goalposts between which spiders construct elaborate webbery.

I'm sure there are other reasons, but 6 -  I'm keeping the rest under my hat.