What's Yer Name

The Social Security Administration has yet to release the list of the most popular baby names for 2019, let alone 2020's list so far, but at least they are still doling out that monthly check every thirty days. You would have heard me howling if they weren't getting that most vital task done!

Of course, you can blame the pandemic for the lack of a new list, and you can't blame them! Meanwhile, peep the 2018 list and see where the toddler in your life is:

 Popular Baby Girl Names

• Emma
• Olivia
• Ava
• Isabella
• Sophia
• Charlotte
• Mia
• Amelia
• Harper
• Evelyn

Popular Baby Boy Names

• Liam
• Noah
• William
• James
• Oliver
• Benjamin
• Elijah
• Lucas
• Mason
• Logan

No "Leon"? No "Lance"? No "Marmaduke"? "Ernest," Porter," "Hank," "Elvis." They all failed to make the list.

But look at the calendar! It's almost December, and we've been quarantulated since March, and that means it's been nine months since we could move about freely, unmasked and not reeking of Purell. 

And THAT means a sure baby boom is right around the corner, even though you were sure that you wanted no more after the way little Abner acted about his teeth coming in.

If you're in the family way, you will have enough to do just giving birth and bringing that little bitty bundle o' joy home.  So please let me help with some name ideas!

• Marcal, Sparkle, Bounty and Brawny, so you will always remember the great American Paper Towel Shortage, pts. 1 and 2.
• Charmin, Cottonelle and Quilted Northern. You know why.
• Pan. One of the oldest of the Greek gods, he's in charge of the shepherds and the flocks and everything that's wild out there, even the nature of the mountains and the rustic music and the impromptus.
• Demic. It's the suffix that goes with Pan and Epi, and it goes back to the Greek word "demos," meaning "people." How perfect! Have twins, and name one Pan and the other Demic!
• Impromptu. I mean, why not? Impromptu activity is probably the leading cause of the impending boom. As a bonus, a child with the full name of "Impromptu" gets the nickname "Imp." 
• Rona. Corona. Enza. ("I opened the door, and influenza!" Coe. Vid.)
• And if you really want to cheese off your non-science-believer friends, there's always Anthony, Tony, or ... Fauci.